goalbysummer

July 16th - August 7th, 2011

2011-09-19T19:29:00.002-07:00

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." - Ayn Rand

I don't need anyone's permission to change my life. I only need to decide to do it, and then step into that decision with the conviction of my dreams.

"I pity the fool" who tries to stop me. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Aug 7, 2011 12:23 PM by kb1968 |

What IS that feeling? So. Weird.

Today I was sharing with a friend of mine what happened to me yesterday as I was walking out of our local mall's Barnes and Noble toward my car.

Something felt, well, just not quite normal.

After a few more strides I targeted the anomaly. My arms were swinging freely by my sides when I walked...but NOT brushing any other part of my body as they swung.

WHAT?!?!?!

If you look at my before picture on MyPage with the pink shirt you will see why it is such an unusual scenario to say my arms don't touch my body anymore when I walk.

I'm on cloud 9.

And one other thing, I received my "goal jeans" in the mail this week. I held them up and almost cried, because I KNOW I will be in them some time around Christmas/New Year. And they are hawt. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and repeat!

Posted Saturday, Aug 6, 2011 11:22 AM by kb1968 |

It's Not Weight-loss-by-osmosis

Sometimes that's the attitude we slip into, isn't it? I mean, we purchased the plan, it's sitting in our pantry, we start out the day having our first Medifast meal, and then sometime mid-morning, or mid-afternoon, all our good intentions fall apart.

Somehow we think that since we have those boxes, since we've invested the $$, that somehow those little boxes should do the work FOR us. After all, we paid good money for them. And why aren't they working?

Well, there is no magic in the little boxes. The little boxes are only a tool. Having them peek out at us every time we go to the pantry does not impart any fairy dust into our bodies which somehow melts the fat.

No. We must do the program. And by "The. Program." I do mean Medifast, as described in the Quick Start Guide, and as contained in the list of healthy fats/condiments that are allowed. Period.

Anything else is not the program.

Do we slip? Sometimes. But we get right back on.

And to be honest, it is those little teeny tiny almost meaningless (NOT!!!) slips day in and day out that are hurting our progress and hurting us by trampling our morale underfoot. Sooner or later we are setting ourselves up to just give up.

So what to do? Commit yourself THIS day that you will stay on plan. Then stay on plan. Rinse and Repeat.

Posted Thursday, Aug 4, 2011 3:23 PM by kb1968 |

Building around me an environment of health....

I have taken steps throughout this weightloss journey to build around myself an environment of health. That was not the case the "first time" around.

I am truly internalizing that I AM a fit and healthy person, and that my outsides are slowly catching up with my insides. One pound at a time, one week at a time.

It is a direction I am headed, not a number on a scale.

Yesterday I decided that there was nothing more that I wanted for my Birthday in October than to attend a Health Expo in Woodland Hills, CA. My father gives me a little "Fun $$" every year for my birthday, and after figuring the Expo Pass Fee (front row seating!!!), and the flight, it came out to be almost exactly what my "Fun $$" would be.

So I talked to my husband and I reserved my seat.

I plan on moving our whole family to a more plant-based, whole-foods approach to eating once I am fully transitioned from Medifast. And I plan on beginning "Transition" on January 1st, 2012.

Also, with my current "occupation" I am finally doing what I feel IS my life's purpose. And the sense of peace and accomplishment that is flowing from the choice to walk down the path I am on is almost overwhelming.

I am joyful. I am at peace. I am working toward health and wholeness for our entire family. And I still have 45 pounds to go! Who says you have to get to "goal" to be happy?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Aug 4, 2011 11:07 AM by kb1968 |

One of my dreams....

One of my dreams in finally getting the weight off was that I wouldn't be the largest mom in my son's kindergarten class. Vain, I know.

My son started kindergarten last year, a month after I had begun the program. Of course it was not the case that I wasn't the largest mom. I was.

But guess what? We held him back. Tee hee. Now I can say I'm not going to be the largest mom in his class.

Looking at the bright side here.... =)

Posted Tuesday, Aug 2, 2011 11:11 PM by kb1968 |

Keeping on keeping on!

Today.

Today is the only day I need to worry about. The only thought of tomorrow I even need to consider is whether I have enough Medifast meals for tomorrow LOL.

Besides that, today is all I am concerning myself with.

And today, I am doing several things:

Cleaning and organizing the kitchen and pantry
Cleaning and organizing my bedroom and closet
Taking care of myself and my son, and my husband.

And loving the process. Loving the way I can feel my hip bones beginning to emerge. Loving the way my collar bones say "hello" above the neck-line of my American Eagle T-shirt. Loving the fact that my size 28 (inches, not clothing size!) True Religion Chunky-Stitch embroidered jeans have a tracking number so that in a few days I can hang them on my closet door as my ultimate "goal jeans".

Yeah, life is good.

Posted Tuesday, Aug 2, 2011 1:21 PM by kb1968 |

Did you hear the one about.....

There was devastating 100-year flood. A man, woman and dog found themselves on the roof of their house, with the torrential waters rising fast. The man prayed to the Good Lord to save him and his family.

A few hours later, an army transport drove by, the water reaching almost all the way up it's wheels. "Sir" the soldier yelled, "would you like a ride? The waters are still rising..."

"No thank you," said the man on the roof, "The Lord will save me!"

A few hours later, as the waters rose to the top of the first floor, a boat floated by, and the boatman asked "Sir, would you like to get into the boat?"

The man replied yet again "No thank you, the Lord will save me!"

Finally, as the sun was going down and the water was up to the second story window, a helicopter flew by. Seeing the family on the roof they hovered overhead and yelled through a bullhorn "Sir! You will drown! We need to rescue you now!"

"I'll be fine" the man said, "I've got time, and besides, I've asked the Lord to save me! I have faith that He will!"

When it was pitch black, and the water was continuing to rise, the man inquired of the Lord "Lord, I've prayed these three times for you to save me! Why haven't you done it?"

The Lord replied "I sent a truck, then a boat, then a helicopter. You didn't get in any of them."

This is how I feel about Medifast. This was my truck, my boat, and my helicopter. And it is for many people, but many people also don't understand that they need to utilize the tools that are being given to them. There IS an "our part" in our healing and in our moving toward health, and if we don't DO that work, then we will continue being what we have always been. Fat and sad. =(

So let's do our part today. Let's get on that Medifast wagon. It is going in the direction we want to go.

Posted Monday, Aug 1, 2011 10:48 AM by kb1968 |

The Things That Are Different Now

So many things have changed in the last year I can't even begin to count them all. But here are a few that come to mind after having lost 100+ pounds.

1) I can run 30 minutes instead of not even 30 seconds
2) My PAD early symptoms have disappeared
3) I carry myself with confidence and good posture
4) I smile at everyone unintentionally instead of glaring at them unintentionally
5) I can wear size 10 jeans instead of size 26 (or, truth be told, I should have been wearing 28's if I were honest back then)
6) I weigh less than my drivers license says I do (who was I kidding, anyway?)
7) I run a successful small business whereas I would not have had the vision to do that last year
8) I live each day deliberately and on purpose, instead of on autopilot and by accident

I am thankful to my God, who has given me His strength to back up MY good decisions. He won't do it for me, but once I have made the choice to stay on the path, He will keep my foot from faltering.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 1, 2011 10:30 AM by kb1968 |

Happy Mediversary to Me! 1 year, down 104 lbs!

I may not be able to lose 104 pounds, but I CAN lose 2 lbs 52 times!

A shout out to Sidanne, who posted this comment on my blog yesterday! It really struck me as a PERFECT way to phrase my success!

I have taken this journey one day at a time. I didn't look at the enormity of the task before me, I looked at just the next 24 hours, MAX. Sometimes, I just looked at getting to the next MEAL. And I've lost 2.01 lbs/week, 52 times.

Have I been perfect? No, but I have been consistent in moving toward my goal. And my goal isn't a number. My goal is a life I am creating for myself, one that includes optimal health. I want it all. I want the health, I want the energy, I want the hope for the future. And I am experiencing the benefits of those things NOW, even though I'm not at my (number on the scale) goal!

So happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Jul 31, 2011 12:19 PM by kb1968 |

It all adds up....Meet Mrs. "2"!

As I was reading Bresbres's blog just now I realized that tomorrow is my one-year Medi-versary. Yay me!

I also stepped on the scale this morning to reveal another pound gone from yesterday, meaning I have hit 104 lbs lost. In 52 weeks.

Meet "Mrs. 2". I must have been THE person Medifast was talking about when they said you can expect to lose 2-5 lbs per week. I AM MRS. 2 pounds per week.

SO be encouraged. Look at my before pictures on MyPage, specifically the one in the pink shirt. That was me at 268 a year ago, July 31st, 2010. I now weigh 164. I went from a size 26 to a size 10. And I am 22 pounds away from normal, which, according to my calculations I will be there in exactly 11 weeks!

Because I am Mrs. 2.

I am thrilled to be going to Safford today (a six hour round-trip drive) to help one of my best friends sign up on to the program. I will tell her what is possible. And I will show her that 2 pounds/week, over 52 weeks, ain't anything to be afraid of! Yup, I'll take it!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Jul 30, 2011 8:41 AM by kb1968 |

22 Pounds to Normal Weight

That's right. 22 more pounds until I reach the promised land of health, the "normal BMI". I have 47 lbs to lose to get to the goal I have set for myself, which is mid-range of a normal BMI, but I WILL BE A HEALTHY WEIGHT IN 22 MORE POUNDS.

For someone who started with a BMI of 47, reaching 24.9 will be a milestone to say the least.

It only seems like yesterday that I was looking at my ticker and the current weight was right at the starting weight. It only seems like yesterday. Then the ticker moved down to 1/4 of the way to goal, and I remember thinking how thrilled I would be when it was half-way. Then it was half-way and I remember thinking how exciting it would be to have lost 100 lbs. Then I lost 100 lbs and now I'm thinking how exciting it will be to get to a healthy BMI. And my ticker just keeps going and going.

Tomorrow I am getting an hour long massage and an hour long pedicure to celebrate. What am I celebrating? Why, the fact that I only have 22 more pounds until I reach a healthy weight of course! =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Jul 29, 2011 11:37 AM by kb1968 |

Focus focus and more focus!

I plan on making this next 50 pounds as breathtakingly transformational as the last 100 were. I just saw pictures of me from the convention, and although I am pleased as punch being down over 100 lbs now, I realize once again that I am not where I want to be.

A lady who spoke there said she had lost 30 lbs in 3 months and gone from a size 12 to a size zero. Although I am NOT hung up on a number, I, too, am a petite lady and would NOT be surprised to be a size zero when I hit my goal, which is 118. I was in a size 2 at 128 last time around, so I do think that will be where I land.

I am currently in a tight 10, and a loose 12 jean size.

I will accomplish this transformation from 167 to 118 in 5-6 months. Ready, set, GO!!!

Posted Thursday, Jul 28, 2011 2:56 PM by kb1968 |

Are We Exhausting Ourselves with Deprivation?

Are we so frazzled by the end of the day because we have spent all day seeing temptations and mustering up every ounce of willpower we have to get through them unscathed? Are we exhausting ourselves with feelings of deprivation?

If so, I challenge all of us to change our focus.

I don't even see "temptations" as temptations anymore. I ignore them. They aren't even on my radar, so I don't feel exhausted saying no to them all day.

How do I do this?

In the morning I make a choice. One choice. That choice is simple, but it isn't easy. The choice?

I will stay on plan today.

That makes ONE choice instead of umpteen billion choices.

One time per day to decide "no" to off plan foods instead of umpteen billion times using my mental energy to hash over in my mind whether or not I will succumb "just this once".

One time per day to realize yes, I may in fact need to deprive myself of things that I used to adore, the things that made me Class III Morbidly Obese (and killing myself with a fork and spoon!), instead of umpteen billion times I could feel deprived per day.

No, I'll take that one choice, made first thing in the morning, to be intentional about my day. To be deliberate about what I am putting in my mouth, making sure it matches up with the long-term goals and dreams I have for myself. Because they are many. And time is short. Too short to be banging my head against the wall over a donut, umpteen billion times per day. Ouch. That would hurt.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Jul 28, 2011 8:56 AM by kb1968 |

Inspired! Cleaning out My Closet!

I am so inspired today! So many successes that I am reading about from the Blogs, and hearing about from my friends, I am elated and excited and, well ok, I am manic.

I am harnessing that energy and cleaning out my closet. AGAIN. It seems like I JUST did this a few months ago, when in actuality it was February. I had gotten rid of every article of clothing that said 16 or higher, or was 1X or above.

Now I'm back in, getting rid of every article of clothing that says 12 or higher, or L and above.

You see, I am in a size 10. Not only am I in a size 10, but I am beginning to notice that my "L" tops are beginning to swim on me.

It happens so gradually, just a little bit each day, so much so that I don't notice things are beginning to "tent" on me.

And let's face it, big clothes on a medium person still make that medium person look...big. And frumpy. And I have changed SO much about me this year, the last thing I want to be is to look big or frumpy!

So no more big or frumpy. The new me is emerging. =)

Posted Wednesday, Jul 27, 2011 1:44 PM by kb1968 |

Back to the Basics

Every once in awhile I dig out my Quick Start Guide, dust it off, and read it.

It helps bring me back to the basics of "What is the Medifast Plan?"

It is amazing how far we can allow ourselves to drift when the routine becomes seemingly "old hat". Condiments? Weigh and measure? Yes and yes.

And to be reminded what a healthy fat actually IS is a good idea every once in awhile. BTW I'm pretty sure it isn't the fried breading on that zucchini LOL.

Isn't it funny how sometimes it is our default to drift over the particulars and "generally" do Medifast? But is that really serving our purpose? Aren't we really short changing ourselves and our plan, AND our success?

I think so.

So here I am, reading the Quick Start Guide once again. Here I am, being DELIBERATE and INTENTIONAL about what I put in my mouth today. Here I am, LOGGING my intake. Here I am, WEIGHING AND MEASURING my L&G, and choosing protein and vegetables based on the APPROVED LIST.

Here I am. Sitting in my size 10 jeans I just bought from Costco today, thinking I may want to pick up a pair of 8's for September. Far cry from size 26 Womens Stretch last July. Yeah. That sounds good.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jul 27, 2011 12:28 PM by kb1968 |

What Are We Waiting For?

What exactly are we waiting for to decide that THIS is what we want?

So many times I have to remind myself WHY I chose this. If I don't, I forget, and it gets too easy to not stay on plan.

I had a great NSV (non-scale-victory) tonight at Costco, while looking at DKNY cardigan wraps. The sign said there were two sizes: S/M and L/XL.

I already knew the L/XL was too big, so I was searching for a S/M and then it hit me right between the eyes....I was searching for a Small/Medium top. I smiled and moved on, not finding what I was looking for but finding something nonetheless. Then I picked up a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt size 10 jeans, came home, and put them on easy peasy lemon squeezy. Man I love this program.

Why are YOU doing this?

Posted Wednesday, Jul 27, 2011 1:44 AM by kb1968 |

Be Careful Clicking on Outside Links. Just sayin.

'Nuff said.

Posted Tuesday, Jul 26, 2011 5:05 PM by kb1968 |

Two Blogs Today? Wowzers! I Just Had to Write What Was on My Mind!

Being with energetic and like-minded people this weekend was a wonderful experience. The vision is to get America Healthy one person at a time. An epidemic of health. Doesn't that sound great? One of the things I am reminded of on my journey is that GOOD HABITS are just as hard to break as BAD HABITS.

This last weekend I was traveling, I was running on pure adrenaline, up until all hours of the night, every night, after arriving in Florida Friday morning after a night-flight from the West Coast.

And I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. The difference is that I have made Medifast a habit. So "whatever I wanted whenever I wanted" ended up being every 2-3 hours, and consisted of Bars, Puffs, Ready-To-Drink Shakes, and the samples of the new Medifast foods which are the Cheeze Pizza Bites and BBQ Bites (available now) and the Spiced Pancakes with SF Syrup (available August 1). We ate with our team the first night at a great Mediterranean Restaurant, and the second night was a Banquet. Great L&G options both nights.

The point is that because I have made eating every 2-3 hours, eating 5 Medifast meals and 1 L&G a habit, it seemed I was doing it on autopilot.

And I dig that.

So let's keep making Medifast our normal. Let's continue working the routine. Because routine leads to habit, and habits, when they are GOOD habits, help us and don't hurt us. And eventually they are our default behaviors which, to me, is just AWESOME!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Jul 26, 2011 10:38 AM by kb1968 |

The rest is still unwritten....

No one is going to take this journey for me. Not anymore.

For many years I let other people write my story. Now I am in charge of it's ending. And my story has a happy ending. Because we can't go back and change chapters that have already been written. But we CAN show up in our own story, we CAN show up in our own lives, and we CAN determine the chapters that WILL be written.

I love the song by Natasha Bedingfield "Unwritten".

Here are the lyrics:

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibition

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
the rest still unwritten

(Gospel)
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Posted Tuesday, Jul 26, 2011 9:51 AM by kb1968 |

It's NEVER too late to become the person we 'might have' been.

I am indeed becoming that person, a little more each day.

The person I 'might have' been. I am living up to my full God-given potential here and NOW. And my body is reflecting that a little more each day.

Did I let the fact that I lost and gained back 140 lbs a few years ago determine my future? Did I sit and wallow in self-pity? Well, yes, of course I did, for awhile. Then I decided that the only person who was going to change me was....you guessed it, ME. I wove my experience in to my story, that rich tapestry of my life that is ultimately a picture of courage, resilience, flexibility, and hope. At least that is how I look at it.

So with that spark of hope, and the ounce of courage that I had hiding in the recesses of my heart, I took the plunge again. Now, almost 1 year later and 100 lbs down, I am succeeding. I am thriving. I am healthy. I am becoming that person, the person I 'might have' been.

Are you?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Jul 25, 2011 2:15 PM by kb1968 |

VACATION!!!!

Our vacay will involve a beach house in Carlsbad, and I'm pretty sure there is no wireless there.

So I'll be MIA for a week!

I've got my 3 boxes of brownies, 1 box of Nacho Chili Puffs, and 2 boxes of pretzels.

And I've got my $220 (retail) worth of clothing I picked up at Banana Republic (a Large dress, a Med top, a Small cardigan) for $1.88 packed in my little bag!

I love sales! This happened to be a "40% off the already reduced price then take an additional 25% off and then apply a $50 cash rewards card from BR Visa and your grand total for 3 items that were originally $220 + tax will be $1.88!" kind of sale.

I love visa cash rewards.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Jul 16, 2011 9:16 AM by kb1968 |

August 2nd-22nd, 2011

2011-09-19T19:29:00.001-07:00

I have an incurable medical condition....

And it is called obesity. My body is set up to store every extra calorie I give it as fat. And it will always be so. But there is HOPE!!!

I have found hope in Medifast, and in staying compliant to the program as written in the Quick Start Guide I see *R*E*S*U*L*T*S* which is what I'm after.

Even when I am at goal and maintaining at a size 2 petite, I will still consider myself as having this medical condition. But I will consider myself in a lifetime treatment program, and that lifetime treatment program, therapy if you will, is Medifast.

I am going to be one of the ones who use 3 Medifast Meal Replacements every day along with phase 4 of transition. So my maintenance plan will look like this:

3 Medifast Meals
11-13 oz protein
2.5 cups vegetables
2 medium sized pieces of fruit (or 1 cup cubed or berries)
1 dairy
1 whole grain

I will use the transition plan as written, and will maintain my weight because I will always be in THERAPY but never CURED.

I have this hope. And I am the one who can implement it. Only me. No one else is responsible for my health EXCEPT myself. And I am in a place where I take that responsibility gladly.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 22, 2011 8:00 AM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

Enthusiasm and a Smile

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."
-Goethe

Most people just want to know that they matter. That you see them. That you regard them as unique and special. Much of the time this can be accomplished with enthusiasm and a smile! It's a little harder in the virtual world, but I find it is still similar.

Take this forum for example. When I see a blog with "0" comments on it, I feel a little dejected even if it isn't my blog! I know, crazy! But it is true! So I read the blog and comment on it because I want the writer to know that they matter! And that they are unique and special! Because we all are.

Let's make sure no blog goes un-commented on! =)

So today is a crazy day, my schedule is a bit off and I'm way behind on my water. But I'm catching up. And my headache is subsiding.

I saw some dear friends today who are missionaries in Slovenia. They came over and we had egg-free waffles. Well, they did. I was happy serving and chatting!

I gave my dear friend a beautiful Lomonosov Cobalt tea pot and a Lomonosov tea cup (I have a matching tea cup) so that we can pray for each other every time we use it!

This was a random blog but I just wanted to say hello!

Happy Saturday everyone! And keep on Medifasting!

Posted Saturday, Aug 20, 2011 3:11 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

What a week!

Sorry I've been MIA on the blogs. Little man had Strep and 104.5 fever. Feeling much better now, and running around the house again. So here I am!

Just wanted to give a quick update. Will blog more tomorrow!

Posted Friday, Aug 19, 2011 10:24 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

I enjoyed everything I put in my mouth on my way back up to 268

I did. Looking back, I have to say that I did not eat anything I did not want to eat. And I enjoyed everything I ate on my way back to 268. And I didn't feel guilty. I was in the trance of denial.

And I gained back 140 pounds.

And you see, that was actually the problem. Day after day mindless eating, lined up in a neat little row, will do that over time. The danger is not in the eating off plan for a meal, or even a day, or two or three days. It is not getting back to Medifast after those two or three days are over.

And once the carbs gain control, they are a powerful force to be reckoned with. They make us forget all our goals and dreams we have for ourselves. They tell us "you can start tomorrow" and tomorrow never comes.

So if you are reading this blog and have been off plan for even the last week or two, wondering if you actually have the courage to begin again, START TODAY. Make you NEXT meal a Medifast one. Don't wait until tomorrow. Walk over to your cupboard and choose a Medifast meal. (I know you still have a few in there!) As you prepare it, commit yourself again to the process. Because it is never too late to become the person we 'might have' been.

But we have to set our foot on the path. Then place your order.

Posted Thursday, Aug 18, 2011 7:01 PM by kb1968 | 19 Comments [Edit Post]

Up a Pound but Practicing What I Preach!

Contentment in the process. That is what I preach. I know that the antibiotics I was on this week and the TOM that came a week early as a result have logistically resulted in this tick up on the scale. So, I will ignore the number and move on. =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Aug 17, 2011 4:32 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

We Really Do Get What We Want....Don't We?

Not many other cultures in this world have a population of people who, for the most part, get what they want. Have we been spoiled to grow up in America, a land of opportunity and a land of plenty? Well that is the topic of another blog but today I was thinking about the fact that we, as individuals, usually get exactly what we want.

Our problem, however, and one of the reasons we became obese in the first place, was that we were wanting the "wrong" things.

I'm all for getting what I want. I really have NO problem with that. But I am learning to line up my WANTS with my primary goal of Optimal Health. Because I really REALLY want Optimal Health.

Do you want junk food? Then eventually you will get junk food. Like you have gotten it so many times before. So many times that you found yourself ordering Medifast out of desperation because somewhere deep down you also want to be a normal weight.

An essential key to coaxing out the long-term success potential of this tool of Medifast we've chosen to use is to actively, and I do mean ACTIVELY establish exactly WHAT IT IS THAT WE WANT MORE Because we WILL get it. Then we need to ACTIVELY minimize those wants that are in danger of keeping us from what we want MORE.

Are you obsessing over the food that you are missing? Well if you are, you are technically "wanting" it (or are in want of it) and you will get it. Maybe tonight in a binge after everyone else has gone to bed. Maybe next weekend at your cousin's second wedding. In fact, you are already thinking of your next encounter with the yummy food/intoxicating alcohol that you want. You may have even posted about how much of a "challenge" it will be to stay "on plan" and you're not sure you can really do it, you know, "realistically" because we all have to, you know, "live life" and everything should be, you know, in "moderation".

So, the scenario is ripe for you to, in fact, slow your losses, stall your losses, gain, give up. Because you wanted the yummy food/alcohol more.

Or, are you waking up each day and thinking to yourself that you cannot WAIT to get into "just overweight" on the BMI chart, or to move from "overweight" to "normal weight"? Do you have that next size down dress/jeans in the closet in a prominent place in your closet so that you are reminded every day that you are actually shrinking? Are you carefully preparing your Lean and Green and measuring your healthy fats so as to stay compliant to the plan?

Are you orienting your day towards wanting health or are you orienting your day towards wanting yummy food? Because therein lies the direction you will ultimately head.

Because we do, in fact, usually get what we want.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 15, 2011 9:22 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Second Cup is Black

When I wake up in the morning I have one perfect cup of coffee. It has 2 TBSP half and half and 1 packet splenda in it, and is a bit of heaven on earth.

And as much as I'd love a second cup, and as much as every morning my brain tells me to go ahead and have a second cup, I ALWAYS have my second cup black.

Why? I'm sure I could do the numbers so that I COULD have a second cup of coffee with 2 TBSP half and half and 1 packet splenda in it, just count both servings as my 2 healthy fats and the 2 packets of splenda as condiments.

But I don't.

You see, my inner brat is the one asking for that second cup, and it is coming out of a place of indulgence. (If one is good, two is better type thing).

I consciously make the DECISION first thing in the morning to say NO to indulgence for indulgence-sake, and have my second cup black.

This sets the tone for the rest of the day. Because shortly thereafter, that inner brat will say "naw, you don't have to start drinking your water yet.....you don't feel like it..."

And if I indulge that inner-brat with the coffee, I'll also listen to her with the water, and before you know it, it is noon and I am woefully behind on my water and have used up all my healthy fats.

So I choose. It's a simple choice, and I make it around 7:34 every morning. After a few sips of the "black" coffee I usually abandon the cup and get some water........

=)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Aug 14, 2011 11:17 AM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

I'm eating whatever I want this weekend!

That's right. I don't care what anyone says to try to talk me out of it. I am going to have a free-for-all this weekend, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. Every minute of chocolate-filled bliss and I don't care who knows it.

You got it, I'm having a "5-brownie day"!

Five Medifast Brownies, that is! Oh and a weighed and measured lean and green + appropriate healthy fats, too!

I really cut loose on the weekends. =)

Posted Saturday, Aug 13, 2011 5:31 PM by kb1968 | 25 Comments [Edit Post]

TWO XL MOVIE POPCORNS and a WHOLE LOT OF MUNCHING!!

I went to see Cowboys and Aliens last night, MAN what a good movie. Entertaining, enjoyable, witty, and two of my favorite leading men Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig.

I went by myself, because going to movies solo is actually one of the ways I relax and my hubby doesn't mind. Next to me was a couple who looked to be in their early 60's, and were both shall we say "extremely ample".

The man returned from the snack bar with a large soda (could have been diet) and an XL movie theatre popcorn. I didn't think much of it, because many people get XL movie theatre popcorns and share it with their party.

Here's the thing. The man ate it himself. No sharing with the wife. Here's the other thing. Halfway through the movie he went and got the "free" refill and another soda, and he proceeded to eat the entire refill also.

I heard a steady "munch munch munch" in my left ear throughout the entire movie, and I reflected how that man is killing himself one XL popcorn at a time.

Then I wondered at this culture of ours which says that is normal, and even desired (I mean who can go see a movie without soda and popcorn?!?!).

I didn't feel disgusted, I felt sad. And thankful, so very thankful, that I found Medifast and that more importantly, I made the decision to be counter-culture with my health.

PS I just looked up the calories he consumed JUST on the popcorn, and a Large with 3 squirts of butter flavor would have been 1500 calories. So an XL was probably closer to 2000 calories PER BAG. Add in the soda (528 per 48 oz serving) and that would total more than 5000 calories consumed of pure garbage.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Aug 13, 2011 10:36 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Thinking of Goals

"If all of your thinking in your life has brought you to a place you don't like, think again. Have another thought. Think BRILLIANTLY." - Graham Cooke

Some of us are over-thinkers. We take a simple process and we "think it all up!" until it is no longer simple, until it is so STINKING complex that even WE lose track of it and eventually abandon the effort.

And we just think we are experts. I know I do. =) HA!

Then something happens to bring us back to simplicity. For me, I think I've been moving towards simplicity for a year now, as I have done Medifast. I am no longer the angry, bitter, dour fat woman of days-gone-by.

I am changing at my core. I have identified the person I want to become and am moving toward that goal.

Do YOU have a picture in your mind of the person you want to become? Or is your goal just "to lose weight"?

I challenge anyone who is reading my blog today to take some time over the next few days and REALLY think SIMPLY about who you want to become. If you were a reflection of your AUTHENTIC self, what kind of person would you be? How would your authentic self look? What would your authentic self do? How would your authentic self treat others? Treat yourself?

If you don't have a goal, you'll never reach it. That is what I have discovered in my own life. So define your goals, and in so doing, you may actually be defining yourself and your potential.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Aug 12, 2011 1:12 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg

Not the Biggest Mom!

My son started back to Kindergarten this week, and I am proud (in a bit of a wicked way I suppose!) to report that I am, in fact, NOT the biggest mom after all!

That was my NSV for this week!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Aug 12, 2011 8:37 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

When I Just Don't Feel Like It

Today I woke up and didn't feel like it. Waking up, that is.

Then I put on my running shoes although I didn't feel like it. Running that is.

Now I'm drinking my water, and to tell you the truth, drinking so much so early makes me kinda nauseous. I sure don't feel like it.

In a few minutes I'm getting my chocolate shake ready for breakfast. Not so enthused this morning. But I'll do it.

Ever have those days when the things that we do just feel like obligations and when we forget that WE chose this and not the other way around?

Yeah. That is me, today. But you know what? I'm doing it anyway. Why? Because my fat doesn't care how I feel, it will respond to what I put into my body and how much I move. So today, although my heart isn't in it, I'm doing it.

Don't look now, but I think I may be acquiring a bit of SELF DISCIPLINE into my life. Please don't tell my perpetual teenager side of me, aka my inner brat. I've had her on board for this journey and I don't want her to jump ship LOL. She can be a menacing and cunning foe. =)

Doing what we don't feel like or want to do daily in order to obtain a future goal is what Dr. A would call secondary goals to obtain a primary goal. The primary goal is what we are after, and the things we do every day, the little disciplines we incorporate throughout our routine, are called secondary goals.

Often, if not always, the secondary goals are not fun. There are no accolades, no immediate rewards, and it is usually hard. We sacrifice parts of our day to do tasks that sometimes are unpleasant in order to move us toward that primary goal.

Dr. A uses the analogy of a concert pianist. Being a concert pianist is the primary goal, but practicing every day in order to become that concert pianist is the secondary goal. I am sure that concert pianist when he was growing up would have rather been playing with his friends outside, or surfing facebook, or hanging out at the mall. But he diligently and faithfully set the framework to make himself into a concert pianist by practicing for hours every day. Feeling like it or not didn't even enter in to the equation. He just did it.

That's where I am in my Medifast journey. I love where I'm headed, and I know I'll get there. I have faith in the process. But it's not all pony-rides in May sunshine in the process of becoming that which I have decided to become.

So I get down to the choice of setting my secondary goals, and using the tools I have at my disposal. Namely, Medifast meals and running shoes.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

PS I'm going to keep attaching my "celebrity look alike" collage to every blog from now on because I like it! C'mon, Jessica Biel? Kate Winslet? Annette Benning? Scarlett Johanssen? =)

Posted Thursday, Aug 11, 2011 7:09 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg

Just did a "celebrity look-alike" collage and have transformed from William Shatner to Scarlet Johansson!

I still remember one of the first Celebrity Look-Alikes I did, on myheritage.com, before I had lost over 100 lbs. It wasn't pretty. There were lots of men in the collage. Older men. Wasn't thrilled. In fact, my highest %% match was William Shatner at the time. If you browse my photos on MyPage and look at the one of me in the pink sleeveless shirt, you will see why. It was ALMOST the saddest day of my life LOL.

But I just did a NEW celebrity look alike collage, (picture attached) and I think I'll TAKE THESE RESULTS!!!

Scarlett Johanssen, Kate Winslet, Jessica Biel, Annette Benning are among the highest matches.

Yeehaw!!!! I no longer look like William Shatner or Stacy Keech!

Posted Wednesday, Aug 10, 2011 6:59 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Celebrity2011.jpg

Resting in Simplicity

Simplicity = the 5&1 plan.

I am also trying to simplify other areas in my life. To take an exerpt from Janet Luhrs The Simple Living Guide,

"Simple living is about living deliberately. That's all. You CHOOSE your existence rather than sailing through life on automatic pilot. Living deeply means living consciously...being fully present, fully aware. Living deeply means living intimately...closely tied to the people, places and things in your life. When you simplify, you'll have space and time to know and love people in a deeper way. You'll present your authentic self to the world and will create a life that is authentic for you. You'll surround yourself with people who like and love you for who you are deep inside, rather than the professional or other kind of persona you project to the world. Simplicity and living deeply means shedding all of those outward layers of image and busyness that keep us from being close to ourselves and other people. It is a more authentic life. Simplicity is living from your essence...your core. You can discover this essence only when you slow down and begin to live deliberately, consciously."

I am excited to read the rest of this book. I see big changes on the horizon in every area of my life. And I am excited as all get-out!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Aug 10, 2011 2:54 PM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Just the Plan, Ma'am!

The plan, the plan, nothing but the plan.

I've thrown away my condiment list. I am paring down my choices this week to what it contained in the basic plan, as outlined by the Quick Start Guide. No more, no less. Sure I CAN have a snack and condiments....but I've grown too dependent on them. I want simplicity and results.

If it ain't in the QSG I ain't doin' it. Period.

Extreme? No, proven.

I've got 45 more pounds to lose and I want to lose them by New Year's Eve.

Have a great Medifasting week! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Aug 9, 2011 3:41 PM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

I Still Remember The Day I Realized I Had a Small Frame

The big girl, that is what I was known as in elementary school. Shocker of all shockers when the day came that I realized I actually had a SMALL frame.

I am petite. My bones are petite, my stature is petite, I am petite. I can't wait for the world to be able to see that about me again someday soon.

Starting out at a size 26 jeans no one would have guessed that about me. Now that I am a size 10 people are beginning to suspect.... =)

I have also randomly learned that I REALLY like platform shoes and 5-inch heels. So does my 6 foot 2 hubby (not for him, for me!).

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Aug 9, 2011 11:09 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Emotion Follows Motion

So many of us are emotion-driven, myself included. We need to be gung-ho about something in order to dive fully into it heart and soul.

So what happens when that emotional pull we felt doing Medifast at the beginning wanes?

Do you ever wake up some mornings not "feeling" necessarily in love with your significant other? Do you let that affect what you do that day? "Sorry honey, I'm just not feeling it this morning. I'm packing my bags." Or how about this one "Sorry honey, I'm just not feeling it this morning. Maybe when the plumber gets here he'll look better to me than you do right now and...."

You get the picture.

No, most of us do not conduct our relationship in this way. Well, Medifast is a commitment also. And once we get in to the routine and the initial large losses happen, sometimes that "feeling" wanes, and the Medihoneymoon is over.

What do we do?

Some folks will decide that because they aren't infatuated with Medifast anymore it is time to find their excitement in other things and other foods because they are bored with Medifast.

Some folks, though, will decide that since they made a commitment to themselves and others that they would see this through, they DO Medifast anyway, regardless of how they feel.

And a funny thing happens. Eventually these people experience a new emotion, which is the peace and satisfaction that comes from consistently doing a good job and sticking to their commitment.

Emotion follows motion.

So I say do the program regardless of how you feel, INCLUDING on the weekends. Your fat doesn't care how you feel. Your fat will respond to what you put into your body and how much you move. Period. Even if you are controlling your intake while kicking and screaming, and having a back-and-forth internal dialog with yourself about how FREAKING hard this process can be, that is fine. Leave it at your lips.

Nothing passes your lips that isn't on plan. And you WILL be successful.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 8, 2011 7:02 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Epictetus Says: Freedom comes in controling our desire.....

"Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire." - Epictetus

This is really what this program is about, right? Controlling our desire?

Let me say this again...CONTROLLING OUR DESIRE. At first glance, many may think this means fighting tooth and nail to NOT succumb to our desire. Right?

No. I believe Epictetus was saying that freedom only comes when we CONTROL the actual PROCESS of desiring.

What are we focused on? Because if we are allowing thoughts and fantasies of "eating what we want" to run rampant in our heads, we truly then are still in bondage.

But what, then, is freedom?

For me, freedom is the ability to control the OBJECT or the FOCUS of my desire.

I desire good health. I am free to pursue that good, or optimal, health, and obtain that desire.

What if I desire junk food? Well, the constraints of the plan become something I resent. That resentment passes in to every area of my life and make me just a bitter person because my desire must go unfilled if I am to stay "On Plan". Or, I fulfill my desire and stay fat.

Either way I have become a slave to that uncontrolled desire.

But if I control that desire and focus it on something noble worthy and good, then the filling of that desire is a pleasure. AND I get what I want! No feelings of deprivation because, you see, I am getting exactly what I desire and am free to do that without guilt.

So let's be careful in fantasizing about "all that yummy food", lest we enslave ourselves in the process.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 8, 2011 7:02 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

I'm orienting myself towards health.

I've seen many posts lately about cravings, and it really hit me this weekend that my actual cravings have changed.

In the past, and on previous programs, I would crave things that were blatantly fat-producing things, like ice cream, cupcakes, brownies, and the like.

This weekend I dealt with cravings, but I dealt with them in the proper way which is, for me, NOT to succumb.

But WHAT I was craving really made an impression on me. I was craving baba ganouj. I was craving hummous. I was craving shrimp and vegetable spring rolls wrapped in rice paper. Good things, healthy things, and things I still needed to say "no" to for NOW. But not NO when I'm in maintenance!

Just some thoughts.

Posted Sunday, Aug 7, 2011 8:55 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

"Who is going to stop me?"

Posted Sunday, Aug 7, 2011 12:23 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

August 22, 2011- Sept 8th 2011

2011-09-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

It Is Never Too Late To Become The Person We 'Might Have' Been!

I don't care if you are 20 years old or 70 years old. I don't care if you have gained and lost over 1,000 pounds in your lifetime, just to be back at the top end of your weight pendulum. What I DO care about is letting you know that no matter what your situation, no matter what your current weight, no matter WHAT your level of present despair, you CAN DO THIS.

Look at my before and afters. I'm not quite finished, I have 30 pounds left to go, but this is my SECOND time on Medifast. We are never a hopeless case. I have gone from a size 26 to a size 6 in 13 months.

Did it take time? Yes. But I was happy and felt AWESOME after WEEK ONE was completed. Yes, you heard me, week 1. I felt an optimism I had not felt, a certainty that this time was THE last time.

I have built around myself a support system that is multi-faceted. I reached out for help. I leaned on others when I needed to. Then I learned how to become my OWN cheerleader. Hold MYSELF accountable. Keep the commitments I made to MYSELF on a daily basis and not treat myself like a child.

I got control of my inner-saboteur. She is still there, and she rears her ugly head every once in awhile...but I have a stern talk with her every time and remind her that she can either be on board with this, or go back into the closet. Sometimes that doesn't work and we end up mud-wrestling. Occasionally she wins. Most times I win.

Anything is possible.

I believe that God is in control, but I believe that He has allowed US to be in control of our health in so much as we can be. God did not design me to be obese. I had done that to myself. Now I've stepped in to what I believe is my true calling, my true destiny, and my authentic self. I am vibrant, not hiding. I am smiling, not scowling. I smile at life when I wake up in the mornings, instead of dreading the day.

It is never too late to become the person we might have been.

Who is that person? Take some time this week and dream. Dream BIG!!! What would you do "if only" you were a normal weight? Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you be? Because I want you to catch a glimpse of your own potential. We are powerful beings, you and I. I think we are afraid of our own potential. I am here to tell you there is no need to be afraid of who you 'might have been', who you CAN BE. Just step into it.

How? Make your next meal an On Plan Medifast Meal. Drink your water. Go about your business. In time, you will become that person. Be intentional about your choices. Don't let life HAPPEN to you, don't always be REACTING to life. MAKE life. MAKE it happen. Yes, you can.

I will leave you with a quote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Sep 7, 2011 8:38 PM by kb1968 | 10 Comments [Edit Post]

It's me, KB1968...but if Susanne Eman blogged on this site, this is what she would say.....

This was on her bio....I really just have no words. I had her picture (attached at bottom) as my avatar for about 1/2 an hour. I couldn't stand it anymore and changed it back to me. It really creeped me out.

"

I'm your average gal next door who just happens to have a body to match the size of her personality. I've never been completely thin, though I have been just under the chunky side. Growing up I wrote a letter to my dad; and in it I told him that my favorite subject in school was lunch. Who would have guessed? Throughout school I was always a top student. I graduated high school in the top ten percent of my class. I was about 300 pounds then. Later I also attended a couple semesters of college. From the time I was 20 to the time I was 30, I went from 300 pounds to 500 pounds. This weight wasn't intentionally gained.

Though, I noticed that I liked the way the weight felt, and the way my body was filling out. Then, one day at 30 years old I was surfing the net. I came across a dating banner for SSBBW's. I had never heard that term before. I decided to find out what it meant. That one add got the ball rolling for me. I found out about FA's and the world of larger women. I was impressed and excited. Deep down I had always known I wanted to be fat, but I thought I was alone in this feeling. I began to look into how fat other people were able to become, how they did it, side effects, and whether it could be done in a safe and healthy manner. The more I learned, the more I wanted to let go and gain weight.

So, at 500 pounds I decided I was ready. It wasn't until several pounds later that I began to feel the freedom and the absolute joy of being fat and getting fatter. The more weight I put on the better I felt, and the more confidence I seemed to gain. I began to change the way I did things according to my weight. I wasn't out running marathons by any means, but I tried to stay as active as possible. I began to eat just a bit more each day than the previous day. Before I knew it I was 700. I'm still very healthy, very mobile, and active. I'm looking forward to pushing the limits and seeing just how fat I can get. It's hard to put into words what it feels like.

The way my body moves on its own, yet with me is poetry in motion. Being this size has caused me to have to take life slower, That enables me to enjoy alot of life's little things that most people are so busy they over look. There is a bit of rebellion to being my size. I mean after all aren't we taught that you aren't supposed to be fat? I love marching to my own beat and thinking outside of the box. Not that there would be a box big enough to put me in either size wise or size wise relating to my personality. :) Being this fat has given me a feeling of total freedom and not only self acceptance but confidence. I wish other women could find the freedom that unlocks that within themselves."

Posted Tuesday, Sep 6, 2011 10:38 PM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Fatwoman.jpg

It's me, KB1968.......this is so sad! ..

I had to put this shock photo up as my avatar for a day or two.

(*Edit: I changed it within 1/2 hour it creeped me out! It is attached at the bottom of this blog and my next one too.....)

This lady lives in Casa Grande and wants to...WANTS TO... is ACTIVELY WORKING TOWARDS being the fattest woman in the world. Her name is Susanne Eman and she has two teenage boys.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3757881/Worlds-fattest-mum-Susanne-Eman-wants-to-be-heaviest-ever.html

http://susanneeman.com/

If you read about her your heart will break. And you will be mad. Mad at her, mad at what she represents, mad at what kind of mother she is being to her sons.

Just thought I'd share. No, this is not my before picture. But what it IS serving right now to me is as a reminder. A reminder of the fact that no matter how big I thought I was when I began this journey AGAIN last summer, I could always be bigger. And if I give up on me again, someday I could actually be as big as this woman. The human body is capable of storing this much fat. It doesn't happen overnight, but it CAN happen.

I will take it down in time.

Posted Tuesday, Sep 6, 2011 10:15 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Fatwoman.jpg

Just Because I Look Normal Doesn't Mean I Am....

It would be very easy for me to adopt the mindset that because I LOOK normal, I can therefore "eat" what others may consider "normal", ie the typical Western Diet.

Nope. I can't. I will never be able to, either. My body has many many dormant fat cells just waiting to fill up. In fact, they are emitting a hormone RIGHT NOW that is just BEGGING my system to store fatty acids back into them as fat reserves. Begging I tell you. Pleading. And any calories that I consume that are over and above my miniscule daily needs WILL be converted to fat AND stored in the blink of an eye.

So as I said, I may look normal, but I have entered into a very tricky and dangerous part of my journey. The knowledge of this, but the SEEING a "normal" body day in and day out.

So how do I combat the complacency?

1) I have printed off several copies of my "before" picture, the one of me in the pink shirt. I post one on my fridge, I post one by my side door (the one I use most). I keep one in my purse, and I keep a wallet sized one in a cute little Vera Bradley coin purse, in the picture window part of the purse so I can see it every time I search for change.

2) I keep my size 26 "Fat Pants" and my XXXL Holiday Sweater on the top shelf of my closet just in case I need a more poignant visual reminder of how much I have accomplished.

3) I read and re-read "Dr. A's Habits of Health", to truly work my way towards Optimal Health and not just some jean size accomplishment. Although I'll take that too LOL.

4) I will help as many people as I can do what I did. Paying it forward.

5) I may go have a cup of coffee once a month at an all-you-can-eat buffet and just observe with my journal in hand. And just watch.

I never want to forget. Because my body will ALWAYS want to get back there. It is what years of abuse have done to my system and my metabolism.

And one day I will LOOK like that skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants and never gain an ounce, but I will NOT BE her. Remembrance. Never go back.

My change this week into a size 6 jean has really jolted me into an acute awareness of where I have actually come from this last year. From a size 26 to a size 6. It is just incredible to me. And I love to help inspire the potential in others to do the same thing I did.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Sep 6, 2011 8:50 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Fantastic Weekend!

Just a quick update, I had a fantastic weekend! And even though my ticker has only moved about 5 pounds this month I have lost 3 jeans sizes in 6 weeks! From a 12 to a 6!

Warp speed! I knew when it started to FINALLY come off my bum and thighs, it would come off ONLY from there! And it pretty much has! I love this program!

Posted Tuesday, Sep 6, 2011 12:36 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Labor Day Weekend = Success!

Went to see a great friend today and had a very refreshing time just TALKING real life stuff. So blessed to have her in my life.

It reminded me that there is "real life in progress" for all of us. There is never a "good" or "optimal" time to get control of our own health, and NOW is ALWAYS the best plan.

She and I are getting healthy. It sure helps to have a friend doing it with and alongside you! And no matter what the future holds for all of us going on this amazing journey, I have one thing to say.

OUR BEST LIVING IS IN FRONT OF US NOT BEHIND US!

Yes. Our "Glory Days" are yet to be lived. We, all of us, have this amazing potential within us to BECOME the person we MIGHT HAVE been.

We are doing that. Chips fall where they may. Funny quick story about those chips, today my chips fell standing in line to buy a Coke Zero at the Minute Mart and realizing the jailbait teen-aged boy behind me had just been checking out my BUM!!! I think I chuckled out loud as I walked to my car thinking how far I've come in a year. And realizing once again that I am blessed to have found a plan that actually works.

And eyes to yourself, you young whipper-snapper, I am your MOMMA'S AGE! AND I'm married.

Serves me right for actually WEARING my size 6 White House/Black Market black jeans out in public. Tee Hee.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Sep 5, 2011 11:06 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Sometimes I'm Scared....

Sometimes I'm a little scared to get off this chair and off this computer and make my way to my bed, although I really REALLY need to.

Why? Because I have to walk past the kitchen. And if anyone thinks that this ole' chick doesn't get cravings, or has this whole weight thing beat and figured out and handled, well think again.

I still struggle with temptations. And I still take it a day at a time.

Sometimes it is as if my inner-saboteur delights in getting me THIS FAR in the day...just to tempt me to throw it down the drain with a slip-up.

Sometimes I feel like my inner-saboteur is not satisfied if I don't deviate from the plan. Well yes, I KNOW that is the case. So just for today (because all we can handle is one day at a time don't ya know!), JUST for today, JUST for this walk from my computer down the hall to my bed, I will say no. I will be successful. Tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow.

Time to take "the walk".......I'm confident I'll be victorious. Just writing it out has helped. =) Have a great night! Oh, and incase you didn't see my previous blog today, this little chickie is able to wear her SIZE 6 JEANS! Take THAT inner-saboteur!

And with that, I'm off to bed.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Sep 5, 2011 2:11 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

Singing the Happy Song...in my Size 6 Jeans!

Oh yes. I bought two pairs of size 6 White House/Black Market jeans a few months ago knowing I would be in them this fall. And it's not even this fall yet. I am so excited.

I have a little muffin top but nothing that prevents me from wearing these puppies out in public with a loose T-shirt!

So I went to our local Coffee Shop today feeling all pretty in my SIZE 6 JEANS! YES, you can still feel cute and sexy at age 41! Just had to shout it out there. Far cry from size 26. Oh yes. I'm lovin' it! Just had to share.

Posted Sunday, Sep 4, 2011 3:45 PM by kb1968 | 22 Comments [Edit Post]

"Why is it so important to you that I overeat today"? That will shut them up.

OK here is a reality check. Labor Day, don'tcha know, is just another 24 hour day.

So wake up, have your 1st Medifast meal, drink your water, and continue through your day.

Going to a BBQ? Great! Enjoy the company. All they have is Brats and Dogs? Then eat your lean and green before you go and take a bag of BBQ Bites, and drink Diet Coke or water.

Challenge yourself to focus on the PEOPLE at the event. NOT the food. DON'T complain, don't even open your mouth at your own "deprivations", or you will talk yourself into feeling sorry for yourselves. Then you'll be a wet blanket.

Don't even mention it. If someone asks, say "I'm not really hungry" or "I ate before I came" or "My stomach is giving me trouble today".....

And let it be that. If someone else gives you a hard time, and you've already told them you weren't hungry, ask them "Why is it so important to you that I overeat today?"

Posted Friday, Sep 2, 2011 2:53 PM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

Just For Today....

"Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anyone knows of it it will not count' I will do at least 3 things I don't want to do, just for exercise.

I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt - they may be hurt but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself."

I found this on a bookmark last week and wrote it down. It impacted me. Just for today, I will follow the precepts.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Sep 2, 2011 8:00 AM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

"You Look Like a Teenager!"

I was told this today by one of the other parents while picking up my Kindergartner at school. I love these little "pick-me-ups" that come out of the blue and are SO encouraging! Awesome NSV if I do say it myself!

That is what 1 year on Medifast will do when you start in a size 26 jeans and work your way down to an 8 I guess! So stick to it, folks! You will NOT be disappointed! And you never know who you might inspire.

Posted Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 7:03 PM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

Sometimes it is one HOUR at a time....

Sometimes the struggle boils down to one hour, one minute at a time. It is in these moments where we meet ourselves, REALLY meet ourselves. Are we the stuff of heroes? Or will we cave at the first opportunity?

I truly have a desire in my heart to do something heroic today. So I will stay on Medifast as written in the Quick Start Guide, and I will clean my kitchen. And in my eyes and in my family's eyes I will be a hero today.

How about you?

Posted Thursday, Sep 1, 2011 10:23 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Get Ready for Happy!

I wanted to do a little shout out to anyone who is just starting or is thinking about starting this program, who may have a significant amount of weight to lose, and who is already discouraged or depressed at how far they have to go.

Happy doesn't wait for you to get to goal.

Happy starts the minute YOU start the program. Honest.

Ok, well there IS the first three days. There is that. I can't say that happy starts really THEN. But happy DOES start on day 4 with renewed energy, and that little something that probably feels foreign to many just starting out...HOPE.

Hope. The knowledge that this time is for real. The knowledge that the program IS simple (not easy) and understandable, and most importantly, livable.

The knowledge in reading other people's success stores, blogs, and MyPage's, that success can be yours too if you simply follow the plan.

Before you know it, your happy factor has increased and you are full blown happy a month in to your plan!

So be encouraged. Happy doesn't wait for you to get to goal.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Aug 30, 2011 9:19 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Had a Great Weekend...Checking In! - And in size 8's!

Don't know if I mentioned this weekend that I made it to the coveted size 8 Levi's. Oh yes. I'm there. Today I was wearing my comfy size 12 cut-offs and I could pull them off without unbuttoning them. A classic sign to self that it is indeed time to retire them. So I got out my scissors and "cut off" my Gap Lowrise 10's which are now my new "comfy" pants.

But here is the awesome part. I CAN WEAR MY LEVI'S 8's!! Oh yes. I am super excited about them apples. Far cry from my (tight!) size 26's.

Survived the weekend, given a NSV today. Yip yip yahoo.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 29, 2011 7:37 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

And Another Weekend *ALMOST* Wrapped up...

I was restless today. And snack-y. I'm not gonna lie.

I didn't indulge the snackiness, and the restlessness has NOT gone away. But I'm not going to try to appease my inner-brat by giving her what she thinks she wants because, you see, I know better.

And because I, and not she, is driving this boat, I will sit here and blog, not eat, because yes even I still struggle through weekends at times.

But I'm almost through it. And if I can give ONE person any kind of support RIGHT NOW by reading my blog, then I have succeeded.

I came from a size 26 (and probably should have been wearing size 28's....) and XXXL or XXXXL tops to size 8 jeans and S-M tops. I have every reason in the world to continue moving forward, not take a step back. So I will grin and bear it because sometimes we have to ACT like we have it together on our eating plan until our emotions catch up with us. For me, "acting" like I have it together means going through the actual motions of having it together, ie NOT eating off plan. Whether I feel like it or not. So I guess I'm acting. But I will get the desired results, and my emotions will catch up with me tomorrow and I will be thankful that I got through tonight.

So here's to faking it until I make it! When it gets late enough I'm just going to BED!!!! =)

Happy Medifasting y'all!

Posted Sunday, Aug 28, 2011 9:35 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Sustainable Living

It's funny, I hear much about "sustainable farming" and "sustainable growth" but not much about "sustainable living". So I got to thinking about it this afternoon.

What IS sustainable living? Well, let's look at the two words separately.

sus·tain·a·ble

1.
capable of being supported or upheld, as by having its weight borne from below.

pertaining to a system that maintains its own viability by using techniques that allow for continual reuse: sustainable agriculture. Aquaculture is a sustainable alternative to overfishing.

able to be maintained or kept going, as an action or process: a sustainable negotiation between the two countries.

able to be confirmed or upheld: a sustainable decision.

able to be supported as with the basic necessities or sufficient funds: a sustainable life.

having life; being alive; not dead: living persons.

in actual existence or use; extant: living languages.

active or thriving; vigorous; strong: a living faith.

burning or glowing, as a coal.

flowing freely, as water.

So, if I put any/all of those together I get the following: Thriving, vigorous and strong actual existence, able to be maintained or upheld as an action or process.

THAT is what I want. And I want it vibrantly. I want it abundantly.

I look back on how I was "living" when I weighed 268. Oh, to be sure, I was "alive", but I was not "living".

I was drawing breath. But my heart was dying. My soul was just about lifeless. I had been sucked dry.

I believe that God places lessons on our heart, and when our hearts break, they drop in. I learned, in a furnace, in a pressure cooker that was my life, that if I was going to really live I needed the courage to just follow the Medifast plan for ONE DAY. That is all I needed. Just one day.

So I drew every ounce of strength I had. Then I asked the Lord to back up my good decisions with His supernatural strength. And I managed to squeak out one day.

I have been waking up with that same determination every day since. It has been almost 13 months now.

There have been days my decisions were not as good as they could have been. There have been days I grit my teeth and held on by my fingernails. There have been days that I woke up in the morning, ashamed of what I had done the day/night before. But I kept going. I kept on. I was determined. And I decided that one bad decision does NOT define me. So I kept going.

I am now almost 13 months into my plan and 110 pounds down from my high of 268. And I continue. And my life has changed in so many ways I cannot even begin to catalog them for you. So I will just say I am happy. Life is great. I am living sustainably. I hope you will join me.

Who is with me?

Posted Sunday, Aug 28, 2011 10:00 AM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

Oh My Goodness...Is That a Tumor? ....

Laugh if you must. I am laughing this morning after feeling my left hip/side abdomen area and feeling a solid mass.

I was turned slightly to the side, and I felt the other side and didn't feel it...then I straightened out and they both felt the same. Oh my goodness. I just felt a muscle.

I honestly got a little freaked out for a minute, a wave of panic overwhelmed my little brain and my first thought was "There is a LUMP in the SIDE of my ABDOMEN!!!"

Um, yes, but it has been covered up for years by so much fat it just always felt jiggly, not solid. Yes. Hello muscles.

Started at 268, down to 158. Feeling grand. From a 48 BMI to a 27 BMI. Size 26 jeans to a size 8. Oh yeah!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Aug 26, 2011 11:13 AM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

Less Than 16 Pounds To Go For a Normal BMI!

Oh "Normal BMI" I have you in my sights! And at my rate of loss, which averages 2 lbs/week, you will be MINE by my 42nd Birthday on October 22nd.

I look forward to spending many decades to come at a "normal" BMI. I have said "goodbye" to obesity forever.

I am so excited. =)

Posted Thursday, Aug 25, 2011 7:24 PM by kb1968 | 18 Comments [Edit Post]

Stop...Challenge...Choose

Unless we are on a feeding tube, we are all 100% in control of and responsible for what we put in our mouths.

The technique I have found works EVERY time it is tried to be successful when battling cravings or unexpected items in the office break room is Dr. A's "Stop...Challenge...Choose".

Stop yourself. Suspend all action while you CHALLENGE what you are about to or being tempted to do. Will carrying through with your intended action take you towards your ultimate goal of optimal health? CHOOSE what action you will take. Yes, pointing your toes towards the door and propelling yourself through it back to your desk IS an option, as much as it doesn't FEEL like an option when you are in the throes of temptation.

Stop. Challenge. Choose.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Aug 24, 2011 7:30 AM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

The Head Work

I am building around myself a micro-environment of health. I am surrounding myself with a support system of like-minded people.

And today I went to my second OA meeting. The first OA meeting I was dragged to when I was 19 years old by a well-meaning neighbor. I never went back because "Hey, I don't have that problem..."

22 years later, and about 400 pounds lost gained lost gained lost gained and lost, I have been admitting for some time now that yes, I am an over eater.

What else could explain the lose-gain-repent-repeat behavior over the past 30 years of my life?

So I went. I felt uplifted. I felt at peace. Abstinence will do that. And non-abstinence promotes anxiety, fear, and a feeling of being out of control. I choose abstinence.

When the decisions in my life come from a place of peace and serenity, things usually turn out A-OK. When I make decisions from a place of fear, that is when things are all in confusion and usually I don't make the right decision.

For awhile now I have felt at peace with my life, and at peace with my calling. It is a good place to live life from, let me tell you. I wish it for all of you. And for me it all started with abstinence.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Aug 22, 2011 11:32 PM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Recent Blogs...September 8- Sept 19 2011

2011-09-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

Free and Choosing

"I am not feeling restricted and deprived, I am free and choosing"... is what I wrote on a comment of a blog today. And it really got me thinking about "the" difference for me.

I have had an interesting journey. The first time I did Medifast was in 06/07, and I lost 140 pounds, and I felt restricted and deprived the entire time I did the plan. I white knuckled it through and lost the weight.

This time, I'm down 113 pounds, and I am NOT feeling restricted and deprived. I have really wrapped my head around the fact that I am FREE, and I am CHOOSING to do that which will carry me TOWARDS optimal health.

Not just AWAY from feeling bad about myself.

There IS a difference.

I am so excited to see what it is I will become in this process, to continue to see how my life will change even more. It has already changed so much I can't even tell you. But my motivation is optimal health and ultra health, NOT just "feeling better about myself and not hating myself".

That only got me so far, then I realized that I STILL didn't feel great about myself because I hadn't given myself anything to work TOWARDS. So when I got to my goal the first time, sure I looked great on the outside, but all I was left with was a big void of NOT being who I WAS, and being GLAD for that.

But if you AREN'T who you WERE anymore, who ARE you? I didn't understand that concept last time. And therefore I didn't stay at goal long.

This time I am dreaming of and falling in love with and BECOMING my AUTHENTIC self. The person I 'might have' been, the person I AM becoming! If I love her I'll want to take care of her and preserve her good health.

So I am doing this thing. I love who I am, I love who I am becoming.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Sep 19, 2011 4:23 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

My Husband Had a Conversion Experience....

Honestly, he did. My husband began Medifast yesterday, and he is on day 2 today. He has used Medifast on and off over the last 5 or 6 years to maintain his weight, so this in itself is not a surprise.

What did shock me is that he took my copy of Dr. Andersen's Habits of Health to the coffee shop today and came back a changed man.

I kid you not. He read through the introduction, the forward, the preface, and chapters 1-3 and he came home babbling all sorts of things about inspiration, potential, positive goals, changing one's destiny, moving towards optimal health....

All the same FREAKING THINGS I have been talking to him and the world about these last 6 months!

=)

I am so happy! =) An afternoon spent with Dr. Andersen and my husband is ready to shout it from the rooftops!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Sep 19, 2011 12:33 PM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

You Only Have One Choice To Make Today.....

Will you be ON PLAN or OFF PLAN?

Make the choice first thing, then get on with your day, doing your Medifast in the background of your life.

The more you bring individual food choices into the rest of your day, the more the food has won because it is dominating your thoughts. Don't let it.

Decide today whom you will serve....optimal health, (and all the hopes and dreams of health you have for yourself), or FOOD.

I look at it is a spiritual choice for myself. To live as the person God intended me to be (a healthy weight, as He designed me to be), or indulging my flesh with the yummy food and being a glutton. Because if I am gaining weight, I am consuming more than I need. And that makes me a glutton.

I am a Christian. I love the Lord. I make no secret of it. And when I think about it, gluttony is a serious sin as far as scripture is concerned, but in the Western Culture we have taken the fangs out of it and made light of it. We have church potlucks and go back for seconds. We go out with the church lady friends and indulge in a heavy meal complete with dessert. We have ice cream socials and teach our children that food is worthy of celebration. Food is worthy of honor and that we bow down and serve....food.

Food determines what kind of day we will have. Food determines whether we will feel deprived or not today. Food makes us angry. Food makes us sad. Food makes us giddy and euphoric when we cut loose and indulge in the drug aspect of it. Food has power over us. Our kids see that too. They are learning that from us.

My hope and prayer is that I can continue to become indifferent towards food. Yes, that is correct. Indifferent. Food is fuel. It is not an event. For me, anyway.

Those are my thoughts for today.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat.

Posted Sunday, Sep 18, 2011 10:58 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

I Purchased My GOAL Present Today...28 More Pounds and I Can RIDE it!! Picture Attached!

Oh Yes. It is in fact a PINK Vespa 150CC Scooter. Oh, YESSSSS!

This is what I could picture me riding on a year ago when I began. And I bought it today. 28 more pounds, when I get to 128, I get to ride it!!!

Posted Saturday, Sep 17, 2011 9:20 PM by kb1968 | 17 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: pinkvespa.jpg

Nothing "Makes" or "Causes" us to go off plan. We do that ourselves.

It is so interesting how this journey changes our perceptions, slowly, over time.

I would have hardly noticed a year ago to read a blog that claimed that a certain situation or person or scenario or time of the month "caused" or "made" someone go off plan.

"Of course I went off plan"....the blogs sometimes state, as if it is inevitable, and, well, who wouldn't?

Now when I read those statements I cringe.

I don't cringe out of anger, I cringe out of sorrow. Sorrow that I can't communicate in any real way except as an anonymous person on a website to this person that NO, their intake truly IS in their control, and NOTHING makes or causes ANYONE to go off plan.

Going off plan is just such a conditioned response for so many people, they forget that they have a CHOICE.

Stress has always = a pint of Ben and Jerry's or a margarita at the end of a long day, so why ever WOULDN'T it mean that now?

I am here to say we all have a choice.

Sometimes I want to change my avatar back to the pink shirt picture, my "before" picture, because when people see my avatar now I almost lose credence in some people's minds I am sure. "Well, she's made it, how could she possibly know what I'm struggling with"....or "Easy for HER to say, she doesn't know what it is like..."

I want to say I've been there. I've been there for MOST of my life. I have been morbidly obese for most of the last 2o years. There was a stint in 06/07 when I briefly hit my goal weight, then it was right back up.

I am 30 pounds away from goal now. Still considered overweight. Looking forward to transition and maintenance. And I'm here to say that the only thing that separates me from the person who just fell off the wagon after their first 2 days is a single choice.

Some days I am so close to letting it slip away I can almost taste the failure. Again. Then I remember that I get to choose. Nothing is inevitable. So I work the Dr. A's Habits of Health, again and again. I read that book again and again. I do the exercises in that book again and again. Because the only thing separating my size 6 tushie tush from the size 26 kadonkadonk I started with is...the...next...choice.

What will it be today?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Sep 16, 2011 7:45 AM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

The Highs and The Lows of the Process

Some days we can walk on air because we are so elated at what this process of becoming a healthy BMI/weight is doing to our quality of life. Sometimes we just don't feel like it.

There is no "trick" to being successful. But the underlying theme is that we go through the motions even on days we don't feel like it. Because it is our intake that determines our success, not how we feel about it. Whether we are anxious, sad, happy, glad, elated, dejected, mad, embarrassed, overjoyed, peaceful, or resentful, it doesn't matter. As long as we stick to the plan.

Now IF these emotions are dictating and controlling our intake, instead of our commitment to the plan controlling our intake, then we will not be successful in the larger picture. Because if you allow your emotions to determine the success of your Medifast day, then if for example you happen to eat when you are anxious, sad, happy, glad, elated, dejected, mad, embarrassed, overjoyed, peaceful, or resentful, and you don't deliberately STOP that process, then your day is shot.

But if you can practice the STOP, CHALLENGE, CHOOSE method as outlined in Dr. A's Habits of Health book (available for purchase in the MyMedifast store), if you can detach your intake/actions from your emotional state, and do the plan because you are committed to doing the plan, then day in and day out you will see the results you are looking for.

It is not rocket science, but I see many people including me sometimes, banging our heads against the same wall. And usually it is tied to the fact that we are looking to FOOD to fulfill a purpose it is not meant to fill.

How many times do we see or experience ourselves the "Such and so situation in my life MADE me go off plan".

Really? It did? Such and so situation tied you to a chair, forced your mouth open, and shoved those M&M's in, forcing you to swallow upon threat of death? Really?

And so begins the process of disentanglement. Disentangling our every thought, experience, or stress from the immediately following thoughts of food or binging.

So begins the process of becoming less "Food Focused".

Some may be cringing even at the THOUGHT of giving up their security blanket. Well, if we don't give up our security blanket of food, we can't give up our security blanket of fat that we have so insulated ourselves with for much of our lives. Do BE different we must DO differently.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Sep 14, 2011 11:21 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

How Do We Stick With It Long-Term?

Commitment. To ourselves.

Funny, how sometimes when we break a commitment to ourselves we don't think it is a big thing. Maybe that is one of the reasons this program seems to get harder as time goes by. One little slip can turn into 5 little slips and before you know it you are spending more days OFF the plan than ON the plan.

It seems to be harder after we let that first "cheat" in the door.

Why?

Because we aren't valuing our commitment to ourselves.

Then we find we cannot even spend one full day on plan, because why? We have decided that our commitments to ourselves aren't worth honoring.

So how do we fix this? I don't know THE answer, but I do know something that helps! Re-evaluating our primary goals is first. What do we want and why do we want this? If we don't have this target we will never get there, and if we don't have a specific target we risk making Medifast more of a maintenance program. A few days on, a few days off. A few days back on to get what we just gained back off.

The problem with this type of "maintenance" is that it IS short-term. Medifast was never meant to be worked like this, and it is inevitable that unless we regain our focus and begin honoring the commitment to ourselves daily of "I will be on plan today" then we WILL gain our weight back.

So today do what matters most. Stay true to the plan, stay true to yourself. Do what matters most. Get to goal, transition, then maintain.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Sep 13, 2011 9:16 AM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

The Desire to Make Medifast Yummy.....and Exciting....

I've decided to be bored with Medifast. I've decided to be bored with the food and bored with the process.

Why? Because I have decided that just as I never again want to be an emotional EATER, neither do I want to be an emotional DIETER.

Neither works out well for me. BOTH are giving food an improper place in my life. Food is not meant to fill a place in my soul, and neither is "dieting".

When I try to stay all pumped up and all excited about the process, well, that is when I know I'm in danger of a fall. Because I need to focus on other things in my life besides food or, well NOT EATING food.

So I don't get jiggy with all the recipes that float around. I don't seek to make a concoction with all of my condiment and snack allowances in order to satisfy my craving. Because it's never satified. I'm not satisfying my craving, I'm FEEDING an addiction when I do that.

And that's just me. No judgment on those who do yummy up their food. For me, I gotta make it liveable, tolerable, and that's about the extent of it for me. Honestly? I want to be DONE with the weight loss portion of this program, and IN to my transition program.

So I medifast. And I rinse and repeat. And I fall every once in awhile, and I pick myself back up and look forward in the direction I am headed, which is optimal health. REALLY living. I hope you'll join me!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Sep 12, 2011 5:01 PM by kb1968 | 12 Comments [Edit Post]

Do We Fully Understand the Tool We Have in Medifast?

We all have at our disposal a life changing tool.

A 100% life changing tool.

A tool that, if used correctly, and as it was intended to be used, has the potential to CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Remember that this weekend. It is your choice. Utilize Medifast as written to CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

That seemingly small decision to have that drink, or to have just a "bite" of the BBQ sandwich, or to skip a Medifast meal or two because you aren't hungry, all of these seemingly SMALL decisions add up to THE DIFFERENCE between those who are successful and, quite frankly, those who are not.

You read many stories on these blogs/board. Guess what? Not all of them are going to be successful. They just aren't. It is a statistical certainty.

But do you know how you can ENSURE that you WILL be part of the 5% that takes it off, then keeps it off?

Stick to the plan, as written, including transition when you get to your goal. THAT is the recipe for success.

So don't think that little piece of soft black licorice that is sitting so innocently in your pantry is harmless.

It has the power to be your undoing. If you choose IT over your goals and dreams you have for yourself.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Sep 9, 2011 4:35 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Unintended...but very welcome...consequences of my weight loss!

Shout out to Wearebobo and her awesome blog today, about her dream which she is determined to make a reality of world travel and living abroad.

It got me thinking about things. First, I wondered if Wearebobo would have discovered this about herself had she not had the courage to begin and commit to the process of Medifast. Next I began to wonder in my own mind how I have changed over the last year, and I saw some similarities in our desires.

I too wish to travel. When my son goes to college in 12 short years (hee hee) my husband and I want to live abroad. We'd love to rent a little place on the island of Skopelos, in Greece, where we have missionary friends, and just volunteer our time. We'd love to spend a year in Tuscany, and Venice. We want to really see the world.

This last year those desires have really come to the surface for us. And to take it even deeper in my own life, I have noticed that I am de-cluttering my house and donating a TON of stuff to Goodwill on a monthly basis. I have cleaned our garage, and will be finishing that project up in the next month, and I have removed appliances that just aren't needed or used from my kitchen.

I have entered the phase of giving things away. And I feel mentally lighter because of it!

My mantra for deciding what to keep and what to give away is coming down to this: What would I be willing to ship 1/2 way around the world in a steamer trunk by boat? If I won't be taking it with me then, and I'm not REALLY using it right now, then why keep it? Why take up the space in my garage or my house? Things are burdensome and sometimes they just end up owning us!

Now I'm not going to give EVERYTHING I own away and go become a monk with nothing but the clothes on my back. As appealing as that actually sounds sometimes, no joke!

But I do see a parallel attitude of unburdening myself of unneeded possessions at the same time I am doing so with my fat. I sense a paradigm shift. Most of my life up until July of last year I have been a hoarder. Hoarding collections of plates, of quilts, of clothes. Hoarding food. Hoarding fat in my fat cells. Accumulation. Excess. Bulge. Everywhere. Excess weight. Debt. Everything.

But last July (a year ago) when I began Medifast for the second and final time, I began to do the head-work and the soul-work necessary for this to be a lifetime of chasing optimal health. And the results have been AMAZING both physically and on the inside.

I am giving things away, people. I continue to give things away. I am helping people become the best versions of themselves possible by encouraging them along their journey of weight loss!

Man life is good!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Sep 8, 2011 4:18 PM by kb1968 | 10 Comments [Edit Post]

There's Never REALLY an OPTIMAL Time...So Make It Today!

There's never REALLY an optimal time to start a "diet". But every day is an opportunity to change your LIFE.

We are currently headed in to football season. Cool, crisp nights, tailgating, BBQ's, beer. Followed briskly by Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year, which are what I call the "Heavy-Hitting 4" one after the other. Then there is Valentine's Day, Easter, Anniversaries (many people get married in Spring!), Memorial Day, and back to summer with the pool parties, long hot evenings, and more BBQ's and cookouts, not to mention camping. Finally, Labor Day brings us back full circle.

Many people give up before they start. Because they are looking at this as a diet. But the changes that we make are really LIFESTYLE changes, and they change our lives and ourselves for the better.

If you have 60 lbs to lose, do you realize that if you had started Medifast right after Easter last year, you would most likely be sitting at your goal today? "If Only"......

So if you are lurking on the boards, wanting to change your life, but skeptical about the "Holidays" coming up, don't be. There will be more of them next year. And you will be a healthier, happier you!!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Welcome to Someday!

2011-07-08T09:58:00.001-07:00

Welcome to "Someday!"

What are some of the things we tell ourselves while on a diet? "Someday I'll be at goal and I'll be happy...."

Make your someday NOW.

One of the dangers of actually GETTING to our goal is that we realize life is pretty much the same the day we hit that magical number as it was the day BEFORE we hit that magical number. Or the WEEK before we hit that magical number. Or the MONTH before we hit that magical number. This manifests itself in the possibility of a HUGE emotional let down once that magic number appears on the scale. We expected more. We thought that GETTING to that number is what would BRING happiness to our lives. And it didn't. What gives?

My takeaway of hitting goal in 2007 was that life and joy and happiness is to be sought after and embraced NOW. It will not magically appear the day we hit goal. We need to be sowing those seeds now, and rejoicing in our accomplishments along the way.

Getting to goal IS an accomplishment, that is for sure. But we don't have to put life on hold while we get there. Our best living is not tomorrow or someday, our best living is NOW!

What are YOU doing TODAY to make TODAY the best day of your life? Is there something you are putting off until that elusive goal number appears? Do you not feel worthy enough NOW to do that? Do you not feel valuable enough yet to do that?

Claim it. Do it. Be it. Live in the now. Because today is the only "someday" we are assured of.

So read fiction. Smile at everyone. Sing in the shower. Practice happiness NOW, and when you DO hit goal you'll be an expert at it =).

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

ONE COTTON-PICKIN DAY AT A TIME!

2011-07-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

ONE COTTON-PICKIN' DAY AT A TIME!!!

Sometimes it truly is just one day at a time. One day. Just today. And sometimes the routine of it is really like picking cotton. All day. Every day. In the hot sun. In the rain. In the wind. In the....well you get my meaning.

I cannot focus on the enormity of the task before me. If I had done that I would have given up 11 months ago, 1 week into my program.

But I did not. I focus on today.

Are my individual eating choices TODAY moving me closer to, or farther away from my goal?

Well, first I had to have a goal. I needed a goal that was tangible, realistic, obtainable and measurable. I picked midrange of a healthy BMI.

Time frame. How long would it take me? If I averaged the MINIMUM weight loss on Medifast it would take me 75 weeks. If I averaged the MIDRANGE weight loss on Medifast it would take me 42 weeks.

OK. So sometime between 42 and 75 weeks.

I am 49 weeks in to my program. And I am down 99 lbs.

I think it is safe to say I can expect a 2 lb/week loss from here on out. I have 51 lbs to go, so I should be at my goal in 26 weeks.

Now. Remember, I've been on Medifast for 49 weeks. If I looked at it as "Good Gosh, I HAVE to be on MEDIFAST for HALF A YEAR MORE!?!?!?", it would be an accurate statement, but it would also have the potential to lead to discouraging thoughts, which would lead to self-defeating thoughts of "how did I let myself get here in the first place?"

So the way I choose to look at it, and it is a choice just like everything else, is to say "Today I have the opportunity to make choices that will lead me toward my ultimate goal."

So I do. I'm not "GOOD" or "BAD" on my program. I am either moving TOWARD or AWAY from the goals I have set for myself.

And I've got time. Lord willing, time I've got. And the time will pass anyway, whether I am "doing" Medifast or not. But I ask myself, what better use of my time could I be doing than to be becoming the best version of myself I can possibly be? In finding my authentic self? I can do this while still taking care of my family and all my earthly responsibilities. So why wouldn't I? One day at a time.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

June 28th - July 6th, 2011

2011-07-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

Some Days I Wake Up With a Renewed Sense of Purpose. The Days I Don't, I Pretend I Did.

That is right. Some mornings I wake up and I am on fire and on task. I eat my first Medifast Meal with a gleeful anticipation of the changes which are to come, because I KNOW they will come and I KNOW my body is changing.

The days that I DON'T wake up with Medi-Glee, I pretend I did.

GASP!!! WHAT?!?!?!? She's a POSER? A PRETENDER? I KNEW IT!!!!

Well, that isn't exactly what I meant. Perhaps a better way of putting it is that some days I wake up just not feelin' the Medi-Love.

I don't feel like making my oatmeal. I don't feel like drinking my Liter of water before 10am. I don't wanna. Yes. Some days the Medi-Honeymoon is O-VER.

But what I mean by I "pretend" is that I don't let my mindset which may be less than stellar that day effect in any way what I eat.

And for a recovering (daily) emotional eater, that is saying quite a bit.

Who knew that I could separate how I feel from what I eat? Well, I did. I didn't know it at the beginning, but I have learned it, I AM learning it, on this journey.

I have learned that even on those days (which sometimes turn into weeks) of despising having to even DO Medifast, despising myself for having let myself get to that point of NEEDING Medifast, just wanting it all to go away, even on those days, my body and my fat reserves respond to what I EAT and not how I FEEL.

It is NOT a failure or a shortcoming to have those days of the Medi-Blues. And just because on those days I'm not super IN to the process or gung-ho about opening those packets of Medi-meals, just because the enthusiasm isn't always present doesn't mean that the program will not work on those days that I just ain't feelin' it.

It works. It works no matter how I feel. It works because it is a physiological process. Energy in, energy out. If I "pretend" that I am on-purpose on those days, and "act" accordingly, ie only eating what is on plan for that day, I will lose weight.

My DOING the program is in no way dependent on my FEELING like doing the program.

And if I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to success on some days, well, I will. Because it is about choosing, not feeling. It is about separating my emotions from my eating. Novel concept. One that I am learning every day. And if I have to relearn it every day, that is OK.

=)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jul 6, 2011 9:20 PM by kb1968 | 12 Comments [Edit Post]

My Zip Line Experience Over the Weekend....

I did a zip line in San Francisco over the weekend. It was 75 feet high and 750 feet long, and carried us over the thronging crowds of people in front of the Ferry Building. They will be there all summer long.

I would not have even considered doing the zipline last year. The weight limit is 275 lbs, and I weighed around 270 but that wasn't even the limiting factor. What WOULD have been the limiting factor are these things:

7 1/2 story climb via stairs to the launching platform
Finding a harness that fit me
Finding a worker willing to help me get INTO said harness

And that would have been just the start of my fears.

But THIS year? It has ALL changed.

7.5 story climb up the stairs? No prob.
Harness to fit? No prob.
Over 100 lbs UNDER the weight limit? No prob.

I had never zip lined before so I didn't know exactly what to expect. So as I launched, and soared over the ground, it felt like I was flying. I felt lighter than air. Elated in spirit. Like I could do anything......wait.....I recognize these feelings....

I have actually been feeling this way for many MONTHS now, never mind the zip line! The zip line just took those feelings and concentrated them into a bit higher level....but I felt the SAME emotions/elation!

I am so happy my life is my life. Yay me. Yay Medifast.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Jul 5, 2011 5:11 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Are We Really Changing?

I had a lot of time to reflect this weekend. The question I didn't even know I had been asking was answered on my mini-vacay to San Francisco.

Am I really changing on the inside too, or am I just gritting my teeth and muscling through this "thing"? (Thing meaning Medifast Program, losing weight, etc.)

I am happy to say that the answer to that question is YES. I am changing on the inside.

The first time I did Medifast I rode the emotion and elation of the consistent losses. Don't get me wrong I LOVE me some consistent losses. But I don't remember feeling healthy in my SOUL the first time around. I don't remember focusing on good HEALTH instead of just focusing on the outward changes.

I found this weekend that I was at peace. Peace with the process, and peace with me. Whereas the first time I did Medifast I was driven out of a sense of conflict. The conflicting emotions of "what do I want more....this food or to lose weight".....

They created a tension within me which did NOT facilitate a sense of peace. I lost my entire 140 lbs white-knuckling it out, running on adrenaline, psyching myself up for the day, exercise my brains out, and dreaming of the day I could be at goal and eat "normal" again. Saying to myself "I can always have that after I reach goal"...and the like.

This time I can sense the deepest change I have every felt. This change that has come over me I can put in the same category as my conversion to the Lord, my wedding to my love, and the birth of my son. It is a life change commitment, one when you just KNOW your life will never be the same, and that it is a positive good thing.

When I became a Christian, my first thought those first few months was NOT "I can't wait to get back to my old ways...."

When I married my husband, my ensuing thoughts weren't "I'm SO angry and sad that I can never date anyone else again!!!!"

When I had my son I didn't think "Well, there goes MY freedom! Can't wait until he moves out and I can be carefree again!"

And as I'm losing weight, and approaching the 100 lbs lost mark my thoughts are NOT "I am SO wanting that chocolate milkshake and am SO bummed I can't have it..."

Meaning that I don't feel deprived.

When I became a Christian, I never felt deprived of the "old" ways. I counted it joy to serve my Lord, and didn't focus on the "fun" I may have been missing out on being a Christian because you see those things that may have previously been labeled as "fun" for me did not hold any appeal anymore.

When I got married (almost 20 years ago!), I was thrilled to be committed to my one man. I was happy to be married, and wasn't pining for the single life.

And now that I have health and fitness on my brain, and have committed to be the best version of myself I can possibly be, I honestly don't pine for the junk. I don't miss the garbage. I don't drool over the sourdough bread. I don't give the chocolate a second glance.

And I still have a wonderful time. And I still love food, but I love GOOD and GOOD FOR ME food. Like the grilled spanish calamari on a bed of butter lettuce that I had for my Lean and Green on Friday at Restaurant Sen. Like the 1 dozen oysters on the half shell that I had at the Ferry Island Seafood Company Restaurant in the Ferry Building on Sunday before heading back to the airport. Like the 10 almonds I ate before my massage at Nordstroms Spa on Friday evening. And the double espresso I savored from the Blue Bottle Coffee Company.

And this weekend I rode a zipline for the first time in my life. Could not have done that last year. Would not have done that last year. Firstly, the weight limit was 275 lbs, and I weighed close to 270. Secondly, they would not have had a harness that could get around me. Thirdly, I would not have let them TRY to get a harness around me. How humiliating would that have been?

Well, enough rambling. Suffice it to say I am changing from the inside out, and the outward is becoming a reflection of the inward. And plus I was told I looked "Amazing" in my grey (size L-but not for long!) Banana Republic Dress, blue sparkling shoes, and crushed black velvet butterfly wrap. And I will admit the wedding cupcakes (the purpose of my visit was to attend a wedding near Sacramento) held NO appeal for me after that compliment! =)

Posted Monday, Jul 4, 2011 1:02 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

My View from the Hyatt in San Francisco!!

Today I had a flashback while sitting in my exit row window seat waiting for everyone to board. A couple came down the aisle, and moved into my row 10. They were precious! She was morbidly obese, he was morbidly obese. She folded her arms over her belly and tried to make herself small, as she was sitting in the middle seat. I didn't mind at all. Been there. Many times. I had the opportunity to share my story with them during the flight, and they may sign up this week! She had a pacemaker put in last year, and her Doc wants her to lose weight. She does too. Her hubby. is a type II diabetic. They have 3 children ranging from age 6 up. They have much to live for. Too much life to live morbidly obese, because as they know it is killing them.

Today I will pray they start next week.

And here's my view from my hotel! It's naptime!!!!! I get a 1 hour glorious nap in a dark, cool room!

Posted Friday, Jul 1, 2011 5:27 PM by kb1968 | 13 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: photoferrybldgview.jpg

Can I Just Say Congratulations To You All?

One of the way coolest things EVER about hanging around these boards for months at a time is that you get to see everyone SHRINKING in their avatar. I think that is just WAY cool. I have attached my "before" picture to this blog for those of you who haven't been around long enough to see my transformation.

I also want to say this. If you go to MyPage and look through my pictures, the difference in my face between my pink-shirt picture and the black background art-deco picture with my hair down is ONLY 40 lbs. So those of you starting out, you can see a TREMENDOUS difference in your face, neck, etc in just 40 pounds. You don't have to be at goal to see improvements.

Have a great weekend!

Posted Thursday, Jun 30, 2011 4:24 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Beforepinkshirt268.jpg

Picture of the Grey BananaRepublic Large Dress....

So I think the verdict is in. It is slinky but not obscene, and I'll be wearing it with a beautiful black crushed velvet butterfly wrap. Besides the picture I've attached at the bottom of the blog, I'll also have someone take a pic of me at the wedding so you can see the whole package! =) As I just dropped in to overweight I am ecstatic. I know I'm not there yet but I AM getting there. One day at a time.

Posted Thursday, Jun 30, 2011 1:57 PM by kb1968 | 13 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: greydress169.jpg

Putting Ourselves....Second? Third? Last?

What do our daily actions reveal about whether we are a priority in our own lives?

Are we eating to please so and so? Are we afraid if we don't take Mr Whomever's burger WITH the bun and all the fixings he will be offended? Are we afraid of what others may think if they see us with a "nekkid chicken breast" and nothing else on our plates at the BBQ?

I'll tell you this, if I saw a class III obese person (which I was when I began this journey) at a BBQ with a plate of food that consisted of 2 small chicken breasts and a spoonful of salad with no dressing, I would have a heck of a better opinion of them than if I saw a class III obese person at a BBQ with a plate loaded with BBQ ribs, corn on the cob, and potato salad.

First scenario's first impression says to me "Hey, that person is health-conscious!" Second scenario says "Wow. Stuffin' their face."

So if you ARE worried about what people may be thinking of you (not what they SAY, but what they THINK) at a BBQ, keep that in mind. I always do.

Secondly, who are we putting first here?

I maintain we MUST put ourselves and our health FIRST when it comes to our intake, ie food we put in our mouth.

If we don't we are allowing others to decide for us that we will remain, that we DESERVE to remain, fat and unhealthy and die an early death.

"Oh that's a little over dramatic". Is it? Is it really?

Are we doing Medifast or aren't we? I for one am done playing games with my life and my health and my family's ultimate well-being (ie having me around for a long time - or not!)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat.

Posted Thursday, Jun 30, 2011 12:46 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

My Authentic Self

As the weight keeps coming off, one of the things I know I will hear is "You look like a different PERSON!"

And of course I am not, I am still me, myself, and I.

Not only do I LOOK like a different person, it would be easy to say I FEEL like a different person...but it is really more complicated than that because I am still the SAME person.

I am just getting closer to my authentic self.

The self which is not encumbered by 100+ pounds that she didn't need. The self who feels light and free and, well, ME!

I smile more. I laugh more. I PMS more too, which IS unfortunate but hey, it can't ALL be good!

I am becoming the person I "might have" been. I am making that happen. And I believe more and more that anything IS actually possible.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011 4:01 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

"JUST" Overweight.

Dropped 2 overnight and was rewarded with a "just overweight" BMI this morning.

That is 99 pounds gone forever. FOR-EVER.

My 100 lb lost reward on Friday may actually be a well-timed reward!

Posted Tuesday, Jun 28, 2011 1:58 PM by kb1968 | 23 Comments [Edit Post]

Changes are Happening Much Quicker

Changes in my body are happening much quicker these days. It seem the smaller you get (and we are ALL shrinking daily on Medifast!), the more I notice almost daily changes in my appearance. It's becoming addictive!

I knew this phase would come, I patiently waited for it. Ok, let me rephrase. I NOT SO patiently waited for it. But it did come and now I find yet another benefit from doing this program. Daily confidence boosters.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Jun 28, 2011 11:10 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

100 lb loss reward....a full body massage.

Oh my ever-lovin' goodness gracious sakes. I did it. I booked a massage for Friday. A full-body in-the-buff-just-a-little-towel-to-cover-you massage.

I'm at 97 lbs lost so I'm calling it good because I'm taking myself to San Francisco for the weekend. And I am a bit freaked about the prospect of getting a massage, but I do remember the first time I lost weight on Medifast when I got that first one I thought "why in the world did I wait so long to do THIS?!?!?"

So I'm doing it, folks. Getting one at 100 lbs lost, and the next one at 125 lbs lost. Doin' it for me.

Posted Monday, Jun 27, 2011 7:22 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Resolve

Resolve is a precious gift. Resolve is that faith in ourselves which took us from watching other people lose weight and be successful, to US losing weight and being successful. Resolve allowed us to place that first Medifast order with the hope and knowledge that we, too, could do this.

Resolve.

If I could bottle resolve and store it on my shelf for the time when I have less and need some, I would not struggle, EVER.

But resolve is sometimes taken for granted. We slip into the dangerous ground of being so confident this program works, and works WELL, that we think we can take vacations from it and of course we will "get right back on"....double-pinkie-swear.

The problem is it does not always work like that.

SOME can take time off, a meal off, a weekend off, a Saturday night off, etc and return to finish it.

MANY more than I can count take time off and return with less resolve, and eventually don't return at all. Problem is, you never know which you will be until much much later. So it's kinda like playing Russian Roulette.

How are we safeguarding, how are we valuing and protecting our resolve? Because I'd hate to wake up one morning and see that mine decided to pack it's bags and head for the door because I was taking it for granted....

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Jun 27, 2011 9:38 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Putting On Our Oxygen Masks

I look back on my journey, and one of the things I notice is that I have had the most consistent success when I have been taking care of myself first.

If I don't have my oxygen mask on how can I assist those around me? If I am not fully whole, I am not able to offer my best to my family. And I am shortchanging myself AND my family.

I read a verse this morning in Acts, it speaks of a lame man who was sitting at the temple gates begging for alms. Peter comes up to him and the man is expecting Peter to give him some money, but instead Peter lifts him up by his hands, and tells him to walk. The man goes with Peter in to the temple, leaping and rejoicing because he has been made well.

I was that lame man last year. I was just barely getting by. I was poor in spirit and NOT taking care of myself physically. I had nothing but scraps of emotional energy to share with my family.

But then something happened. I began to believe that I could in fact become the best version of myself possible. Not only could I do that, but that it was the best way I could minister to my family.

I put my oxygen mask on. I have been putting my oxygen mask on for almost 11 months now and am down just about 100 pounds. And in that time, almost from the beginning of my decision a year ago to put on my oxygen mask, by emotional availability to my family has been through the roof.

I am leaping and rejoicing when I head out for my 25 minute run at 5:59 am 3 days a week. I am leaping and rejoicing when I attend Yoga classes 3 times a week.

It is not wrong or selfish to want to be the best person we can possibly be. In fact, it reaps blessings on others because my family will tell you last year I was a grump. My scowl-lines on my face had scowl-lines of their own because I was angry at the world, angry at myself, yes, even perhaps angry at God for "letting" me gain all of my weight back.

I realized I was in denial about who was to "blame" and instead of beating myself up over it and hating myself, I did just the opposite. I turned my hope into a strategy and have been doing Medifast ever since.

I guess if there is one thing I want to leave the readers with in this blog it would be that "Hope is not a strategy", and to help others you must first help yourself. That kind of "selfishness" is not the bad kind.

So put on your oxygen masks! One white packet at a time!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Jun 26, 2011 12:45 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Just Spent an Hour Talking About Medifast.....

With a lady in Barnes and Noble who is in desperate need of Medifast. I am praying that she will consider doing the program, she just started thinking about Bariatric Surgery last month, as she needs a double-knee replacement after multiple knee surgeries but the Doctors don't want to do the replacements until she loses some weight first.

Does your heart ever just break for everyone around you at the same time who is morbidly obese? Mine did today. I almost cried in my double-espresso looking around at the "average American" coming in and out of the coffee shop. Maybe I'm just PMS but I was super-emotional today about getting America healthy one person at a time.

If you are the praying kind, please pray for her.

Posted Saturday, Jun 25, 2011 8:29 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

BE the Inspiration You'd Like to See in the World.....

I've been at this (my second time around) for almost a year now. Last year when I committed to myself to do this one last time, I saw many inspiring Medifasters posting regularly. They still do. And it is inspiring.

Now I've been here for almost 11 months, and have done well, and I would encourage all who are just starting out and feel like you have a long road ahead of you...we all do.

I have by no means had an earth-shattering average weight loss my second time around. It just goes slower the second time, because I had less Lean Body Mass to start with (having lost the appropriate amount of LBM along with my fat the first time around....). My average has been about 7-8 lbs/month.

But I've stuck to it. I've stuck with it.

And you can too! And at some point, the newbies will be signing on and reading YOUR blog and saying "Wow, I just don't know if I can be as successful as that...."

Yes, they can. And yes, you can. It takes time and patience. The time I've got, the patience I like to think I have learned. Yeah right. =)

So keep it up. Take it one day, one hour, one SECOND at a time if you have to. One Medifast packet at a time. Even if they are all brownies LOL.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Jun 25, 2011 8:23 PM by kb1968 | 11 Comments [Edit Post]

Wanting it.

It almost seems like a given that those of us on Medifast want to lose weight and be healthy.

Of course we do. We've been dreaming about it, feeling deprived if it, for years and years. The LACK of being fit and healthy has been an excuse for us for as long as we can remember, sort of like wanting to climb that mountain, but we can't because instead of hiking boots we have these old comfy worn shoes which are falling apart but we can't bear to give up.

So do we really WANT this? Do we really WANT to finally, for once in our lives, become the best version of ourselves?

Do we? Because when it all boils down to it, we usually find a way to get what we want.

But do we want it?

For some, the insulation of fat is the crutch we are actually afraid to get rid of. So we sabotage ourselves. We focus on the food we can't have, until the tension is so great we "cave" and binge on it. Is it really about the deprivation? Or are we secretly telling ourselves that what we really WANT is to STAY fat?

Losing this safety net of insulation (ie fat) takes courage. It is courage that I KNOW WE ALL POSSESS.....

We do. We all have it within ourselves to be the BEST version of ourselves we possibly can be. We have been entrusted with this body, I believe by the Lord, in order that we would be good stewards of it. Are we using it for His glory? Or are we using it for OUR shame?

I see the tendency in my own life, when I am doing very well and adhering to the program as written, a bit of fear creeps in. That fear could mask itself as desire for a glass of wine. That fear could mask itself as desire for anything off plan. Or a desire to NOT go for my run when my alarm clock goes off. Either way, at it's core, it is a fear of living up to my God-given potential.

I mean, what if I become the best version of myself that I can possibly be, and am STILL a disappointment? Then what? At least if I am overweight I have an excuse to be disappointed in myself. When that is gone? What then?

These are some things I have been pondering lately. What is at the core of my belief system about myself? About what I am capable of? Of what drives me? How do I consistently keep on track not only in the food part, which is pretty self-explanatory, but also consistently keep focused on what I want? And how to I make sure I am wanting fitness and optimal health all the time? How do I not be afraid of success?

Until next time......

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Jun 24, 2011 5:01 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Focusing on the Lingo

How many times throughout my life have I thought of dieting in terms of eating the "right" or the "wrong" foods, being "good" on my diet or being "bad" on my diet?

I believe that it is quite possible that we set ourselves up for failure and defeat just by using this terminology.

Eating off-plan foods is not a question of morality. It is not being "good" or being "bad" as defined by what I choose to put into my mouth.

Sometimes I wonder if it is part of the problem? I look at it this way. Part of me, a very small part I will call my inner-brat, just wants to be BAD sometimes. Call it a rebel gene. Call it the perpetual teen-ager syndrome. Call it human nature, or just being "human".

So part of me is prone to wanting to "act out" or to engage in "negative behavior" much like a rebellious teen. Perhaps it is because so much of my life is already structured and I feel a great amount of responsibility for myself and my family. I'm not a psychoanalyst and I don't play one on TV so really I don't know what is behind it.

But I have found something very interesting in terms of my internal classification of food....when I strip food of it's labels of "good" or "bad", the food that I considered "bad" loses it's appeal.

Let me explain it a different way.

I have two fundamental choices to make when confronted with an opportunity for off-plan eating. Whether I was blindsided and the opportunity popped up unannounced or I, by way of social obligations etc, had to attend a function where off-plan foods were in abundance. My two choices are:

1) Eat food that will take me closer to my goal of optimal health
2) Eat food that will take me farther from my goal of optimal health.

That is it. Choices. Instead of being "good" or "bad" I have redefined it in terms of a chart with a timeline.

My goal of optimal health is at one end, and a shortened lifespan with potential obesity-related illnesses is at the other.

Which choice do I make? Well, I can make the choice that will take me closer to my goal of optimal health, or I can make the one that will take me farther from that goal.

Again, for me it is no longer a question of "good" or "bad" behavior. It is a choice of where I am headed, and do I want to keep that momentum in the direction I have chosen?

These are some of the things that I have been pondering lately.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Jun 23, 2011 4:12 PM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

Who Do I Want To Be? - Revised with Picture attachment

I have this vision of myself in my mind's eye, which is SO very different from the image portrayed in my "before" pictures.

First impressions mean a lot. And our OWN impressions of ourselves mean a lot also. In our deepest desires, who do we want to become?

I have always had a innermost deep desire to be a picture of health. All of it. The whole package. Age doesn't matter to me, but health DOES. I am picturing in my mind's eye a very fit, slim and trim toned blonde lady running the Paris Marathon. Whether that happens in 2012 or 2013, it WILL happen. Lord willing!

I am becoming that picture of health.

It started with the weight loss. I lost about 80 pounds on Medifast before I began my exercise program. Had I begun any earlier, I am convinced personally that I would have drastically reduced the life of my knees! =)

But all of a sudden it seems like I have woken up to a new me who resembles more the person I WANT to be than the person I STARTED out as.

This new me has a gentle Yoga class on Mondays Wednesdays and Saturdays. This new me is doing the C25K running program on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. This new me is working on strengthening her core. This new me bicycles to Sprouts Grocery Store to buy her veggies a few times a week.

This new me is wearing size 10 jeans, down from size 26 less than a year ago.

I am reminded of Epictetus. He said "Say who it is you would be, then do what you need to do."

I have said it. I will do it.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 22, 2011 6:35 PM by kb1968 | 16 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: ParisMarathonpic1.jpg

Stop, Challenge, Choose

The moment of decision....we've been there...that spontaneous pull that seemed to come out of nowhere and blindside us. Before we knew it we were reaching for (insert forbidden food here) and had it headed for our mouth.

STOP. Just stop.

CHALLENGE. Challenge yourself, will this take you further from your goal or closer to your goal of optimal health?

CHOOSE. Choose. Just choose.

Because everything we put into our mouth is a choice. There is no such thing as mindless eating. There are conditioned responses, but even those responses are a result of a series of choices, the pathway is just so familiar in our brains that it seems routine. Changing that familiar pathway also seems painful at times. Downright painful. As if real physical pain were involved.

It takes 21 days to establish a habit, whether bad or good. Lets begin today establishing the GOOD habits, because honestly those are as hard to break once established as bad ones are.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 22, 2011 7:00 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

"Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dyin" - Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

Many of us here are here because we have spent the last 5, 10, 20 or more years getting busy dying.

We have been preoccupied with feeding ourselves into obesity. We have been slowly poisoning our bodies and our souls.

Let's face it, anyone who IS Obese is setting themselves up for an early death. So MY perspective is that Medifast is a tool, and my doing the program day in and day out IS my lifeline.

I am getting busy living, because there is SO much living I plan on doing on this earth, Lord willing!

So, my inner-brat is staying in the closet today, in the straitjacket I place her in every morning. I've actually ordered a POD for her, it will be delivered tomorrow. I'll throw her in there and they can store her in some warehouse in an undisclosed location. Pretend she's in the witness protection program or something. Either way, she is hitting the road and I'm not giving her a key to the house so she can sneak back in the side door someday.

What is your inner-brat telling YOU to do today which would result in you making the decision to "get busy dying"? Wouldn't you rather make that choice to "get busy living"? I would! I am.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat.

Posted Tuesday, Jun 21, 2011 11:06 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

June 1 - June 21, 2011

2011-07-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

It's OK To Expect More From Ourselves...

Yes. It is alright to set our bar a little higher and attempt to achieve that which we previously thought impossible...the 100% On Plan Week.

Sometimes I think we let ourselves off too easily, especially with the gobs of support and encouragement we tend to receive on this site. And I'm not knockin' that, by the way.

But at what point to we look at ourselves and just say "enough's enough....playtime is over?"

I know in the past I have had to confront that attitude in myself more times than I can count (the lenient attitude), and had to actually become a little harder on myself, in a GOOD way. Now I expect MORE out of myself, not less. Because I have goals and I WILL achieve them...if only I'll let me.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, Jun 21, 2011 12:13 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

And Happy Monday to You!

So another Monday comes and I'm down 2 lbs. I lose slow and steady on the Medifast Program and I am happy with that. It still results in 9 lbs/month, and that REALLY adds up!

I have begun to exercise. A short walk/jog for 30 mins on Tues, Thurs, Fri mornings, and an 1 hour (gentle-mostly stretching, some poses) Yoga class Mon, Wed, and Sat.

I also toodle around the neighborhood on my bicycle sometimes, and just feel great. I used to feel self-conscious on a bicycle, like people were driving by me thinking "Oh look, a fat lady on a bicycle...." I don't care anymore. I do it because I love it.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Jun 20, 2011 11:10 AM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

The Anatomy of a Slip

I've been there. That morning you wake up after the day that you ate off program. You feel guilty. You feel like a failure. You feel like "what's the point if trying if I'm just going to be back in this place every weekend?"

Yes. The week-day dieter.

And yes, I've been there. You do so well during the week. Easy peazey lemon squeezey. Structure. Activities. Routine. Not a problem.

Then the weekend comes. Sleeping in. You've missed a MF meal already and look, the family is having some together time which includes a brunch at a fancy place that it takes FOREVER to get in to. And it costs $20 per plate, so are you REALLY just going to have 3 poached eggs and some celery? REALLY?

Then the baseball/football/basketball game is on and everyone relies on YOU to host it at your house with all the treats the hosts are supposed to provide for these things. The smells are overwhelming, and plus since you DID have that Belgian Waffle yesterday you also happen to be out of ketosis today and feel STARVING so what's the point in putting off the inevitable bites licks and tastes that you know you will probably end up having while cleaning everything up afterwards. Why not enjoy them WITH everyone instead of sneaking off into the kitchen when no one is looking...well, besides the fact that you've already HAD some BLT's while you were preparing the snacks BEFORE hand. But you were pretty good at denying that at the time.

So hey, what's another failed weekend? So what if you lose 4 lbs/month instead of 12?

And this is how it goes for some. And as I said, I have been there so I am not casting stones.

Here's the thing. If we become content with losing 4 lbs/month and eating what we want on the weekends, eventually we will be content with "well at least I'm not gaining" because that is the next step. And the next step after that is "well my jeans still fit"....until they don't.

Then we find that it has been 7 weeks since our last Medifast order...and we still have food left....and we wonder how we can justify another order if we really aren't doing it...so we don't.

A year later we sadly pull out our size 26 jeans and...

They fit again.

So listen to my words of warning. PLEASE listen to them. I am not perfect. I am far from perfect. But I have BEEN there. I have been on that slippery slope before, and when you are ON that slope sometimes it is just easier to "accept" what you feel is the "inevitable", stop grasping at shrubs and tree limbs on the way down, and just turn around and "enjoy" the ride. But it is deadly too.

Did you know that obesity causes a higher inflammatory response in our bodies by default? And that this inflammatory response is responsible for putting us at a higher risk of just about every disease there is out there? Cancers, heart disease, arthritis, stroke, you name it, and obese individuals have much higher incidences of these diseases.

So it does matter what we do on the weekend. It does matter. And if you are one of those who woke up this morning feeling guilty, feeling like it's no use, feeling like perhaps this isn't the plan for you because you just can't seem to stick to it for those two days at the end of each week, I am here to tell you to MAKE YOUR NEXT MEAL A MEDIFAST ONE. It is NEVER too late to become the person you MIGHT have been. The person you CAN be. The person you WILL be. No matter how many times you have to snap yourself back into the game, DO IT. It is so worth it.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Jun 19, 2011 10:35 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

Headed to My First Ever Yoga Class....

I live in a great little neighborhood in Gilbert which has quite a few "cottage industry" businesses in the homes. One such business is a Christian Yoga Studio. I'm so excited to be going to my first Yoga Class this morning. Nervous also. Never would have DREAMPT of doing this 93 pounds ago.

Also looking forward to seeing exactly what is meant by the term "Christian Yoga....."

=)

Posted Saturday, Jun 18, 2011 11:36 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Time to Grow Up.

"Therefore let us also, seeing we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us - Heb 12:1."

So I know that this verse is talking about heavenly witnesses, but I also interpret it in the here and now, there here being our Medifast friends, our acquaintances at work, our friends, our families. The lady at the check-out at Costco. Our pharmacist. Anyone who is watching with interest our progress.

I am doing this program for myself, true, but there will be those who are impacted positively by MY journey. And I am laying aside every "weight" and I am running this course with "patience" this race that I have chosen to run. This course that I have chosen to embark upon.

I chose this.

Sometimes just remembering that I chose this helps me through the times where the struggle just seems so overwhelming. This program was not imposed upon me. I wanted this. I will happily adhere to the tenets of the program, because the program works.

I am finished being the bratty rebellious teenager who stomps her foot and will HAVE what she WANTS right NOW. The one who resents rules and "restrictions". The one who wants to be carefree and irresponsible. No.

It's time for me to put my big-girl panties on and grow up. The great thing is that my big-girl panties aren't so big anymore. =)

I love Medifast.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Jun 17, 2011 11:50 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

The Only Variables are Time and Commitment

What does it take to be a guaranteed success on the program? I know there are many people, myself included, who enter into Medifast with a bit of trepidation. Thoughts like "Can I really do this? Will it really work for me?" always accompany the start of any significant life change.

But I am here to tell you that YES. You CAN really do it. YES. It WILL really work for you. I can guarantee it if you've got only TWO things that you remember to do:

1) Keep your commitment to the plan
2) Know that it will take a little time

These are the only two variables that determine raving success over the long-term, and someone who loses heart and motivation after a few weeks and drops off the plan entirely.

I am not saying that everyone who is not fully committed to doing the plan will see NO success. Some, if not many, will see a degree of success, and some, if not many, may reach their goal. And to that I say it is an individual journey and you gotta do what works for you.

However, comma, if you want a GUARANTEE that you WILL reach your goal I cannot give it to you unless you ARE committed to following the plan as written.

And for me, there is peace in knowing that I WILL arrive, that it is SIMPLY a matter of time. It allows me to continue to have the faith necessary for ME not to become disheartened when I'm on a plateau, because I KNOW I'm doing everything by the book and that the weight will continue to come off, maybe just this week I'm losing inches instead of pounds.

Here's the deal. I started at 268, my highest weight EVER. I am now at 174.

I started at a size 26W stretch jeans (and they weren't kidding on the "stretch".....)
I now range between 8-12 depending on the brand.

I started having just purchased a CANE at a rest-stop in California on a road-trip because my knees were hurting that much. I was 40 years old. That CANE is in my closet as a memento.

I started being winded walking out to the car. I can now run a mile without stopping.

I started 98 pounds into "Obese"....(Obese for me started at 170 and I weighed 268) and now I have 5 pounds to lose before I'm "just" overweight.

I started in despair, but with hope on the horizon. That despair is but a memory, and my default mental state now is hope.

The only difference between me and those of you just starting out is a little bit of time. If you have the commitment to follow the program, take it 1 day at a time and in what will seem like no time at all (in hindsight LOL) you will be saying that you are almost "just" overweight!

And we'll all do the happy dance for you!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Jun 16, 2011 11:25 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Stats So Far: Over a FOOT EACH off my waist, hips, and chest!

I thought I'd take my measurements today, since I have started to exercise this week and wanted to get all my stats including my % body fat for comparison as I continue on my journey.

My Chest/Waist/Hips measurement have gone from:

55/52/61

to:

42/37/49

I've lost 13 inches off my chest, 15 inches off my waist, and 12 inches off my hips (widest part, more like my bum!), in less than a year. Yay Medifast! Yay me!

Measurements don't lie, neither does clothing because clothing is tied to measurements, and I am wearing (out of the house now!) size 8 Levi's. (Down from a solid size 26W)

My percent body fat has gone from 51% to 39%. BMI from over 47 to 31. Yay Medifast! Yay me!

Yay Medifast! Yay me!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 15, 2011 2:48 PM by kb1968 | 15 Comments [Edit Post]

The Next Choice....

Our ultimate success on this program really only comes down to our next choice. What will it be?

Will we DO the Medifast plan as written? Will we not? What is the next thing we are putting in our mouths? Is it on plan? Is it planned and scheduled? Or is it impulsive and instantly gratifying, and not REALLY on plan but maybe if we cut our carbs for the remainder of the day.....

I need to remember WHAT I am feeding with everything I put in my mouth.

Am I feeding my long-term goals and dreams for my weight loss and optimal health? Or am I feeding my inner-brat? That inner-brat who would happily have me 6-feet underground in a year if it could? Yes, the inner-brat of self-destruction. Because that is where I'm headed if I turn this boat around and head to the destination I WAS heading to before recommitting to Medifast.

Because every little tiny thing we let pass through our lips is either taking us CLOSER to our goals of Optimal Health, or FARTHER from them.

"Oh but Stacy, why do your blogs always sound like it is a matter of life and death?" Because it is.

Decision time. Make your next decision count.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 15, 2011 11:28 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Some Dire News....

My Aunt was admitted into the ER on Saturday night after battling bronchitis for a few weeks, and has now been diagnosed with Sepsis.

I am praying for her. I am deeply saddened that she is now battling for her life in the ICU, and my sadness is increased knowing that Obesity increases morbidity statistics in Sepsis patients. I am doubly saddened by the fact that she was going to sign up for Medifast in April. Then something came up. Then something else came up. Then finally something came up. Then she and her husband were REALLY going to do it this time....and I waiting for the call from her letting me know that she wanted to, in fact, order Medifast.

Instead I got an e-mail from my Uncle that she is quite possibly dying in a hospital in California. And I know that her III Obesity puts her at greater risk of mortality.

And I am very saddened. About all of it. How hard do you push someone? How many times do you e-mail them and remind them they "said" they were going to start? I sent 3 or 4 such e-mails to encourage her along in the last 2 months. Sometimes it's just a little too late.

Obesity increases the overall inflammatory response in all individuals who ARE obese. This puts them at higher risk of ultimately dying from the complications of a simple cold. Which turns into bronchitis. Which turns into Sepsis.

Yes, I am saddened. Please say a prayer for Vicki.

Posted Tuesday, Jun 14, 2011 5:38 PM by kb1968 | 14 Comments [Edit Post]

Loving life. Loving me. Loving the Journey.

I've determined already on my journey that I am going to enjoy it.

I'm done "grinning and bearing it" as far as my weight loss is concerned. I am EMBRACING my limitations where food is concerned, I am REJOICING in the fact that every day I stay On Plan this is working for me.

And it will work for every one of you.

Let's make this an On Plan day, because you CAN do this, but only YOU can do this!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Jun 13, 2011 10:43 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

You Really Have to be a Visionary.....

To do Medifast at all. I guarantee every person who orders this program on faith and receives it in the mail and STARTS, has a visionary, pioneering, and adventurous heart.

It's like the promise of a "new land". It's like what propelled the pilgrims across the ocean so many years ago.

No one said it would be easy. And they didn't care.

We are really made of the same stuff, aren't we? We've been imprisoned and chained up in these obese and overweight bodies of ours for so long...and yet...the longing....

We signed on for the journey, with anticipation, and a bit of dread at what would lie ahead in the unknown. Days and nights, toil and sometimes hunger, going without, all of it brings that "new" us closer day by day. Sometimes we get seasick. Some days we just don't feel it. Some days we despair. But our boat is moving, because we have set our course. And we are adventurers.

The salty sea spray and the ocean breeze that promised freedom, and better horizons, caught our imagination one day...we saw ourselves on the distant shore, and it seemed like an apparition at first, seen faintly through the mist.

Look! Do you see that? There? Through the mist...the sun is rising...I see it. I see me. I see a shining, fit and slender version of me who is free from her chains of bondage. She is smiling. She is dancing. She is me. And look, she's wearing the size 2P Ann Taylor Loft black trousers I bought on sale today knowing, KNOWING, I will be there soon.

Land ho everyone. Let's do this thing.

Posted Sunday, Jun 12, 2011 7:39 PM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

Masterpiece

"If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all." - Michelangelo

It isn't easy. But it IS worth it. How hard are we working to create our life's masterpiece, to master our own health?

Posted Sunday, Jun 12, 2011 12:59 PM by kb1968 | 2 Comments [Edit Post]

Training My Brain

I am training my brain towards adherence.

What does that mean? Well, firstly, the human brain is a servile instrument. An example of a servile system is a missile with a guidance system that is "servile". This means it will lock on a target, and even if the target moves, the missile will follow the target, focusing on it, moving with it, and eventually hit it's mark.

Our brains do the same thing. We WILL hit what we choose to focus on. If I am craving something, and begin to focus on that object, my brain will not REST until I have some resolution on the matter. The resolution can be either caving in and having the THING I am focusing on, or it can be removing the THING from my mind.

When I am tempted, I choose the latter. But I will go so far as to say that I am working on making sure I don't even entertain those temptations at ALL. How? I focus on my goals. Since my brain will lock on and target whatever I focus on with laser like precision, I choose my target to be my goal of optimal health.

Compliance. Adherence. These, on the surface, can sound like robotic-like "drank the Kool-Aid" words. But I will say it is as wise to stick to the Quick Start Guide as closely as possible as it is to stick to a road map when you are in unfamiliar territory and headed to a destination. Or a treasure map when you are looking for treasure.

Medifast is the roadmap/treasuremap I have chosen to follow. My goal is optimal health. Why would I want to delay reaching my destination by even a few days? So yes, I choose the straight and narrow.

Yes, I choose to focus on what I CAN have, and what I am ACHIEVING on my journey, not what I am "missing out" on. Because I'm not missing out on anything, unless I define happiness by what sugary snack I can or cannot consume.

I am re-engineering my paradigm in light of my goal of optimal health. That includes my eating program. And let me tell you, I can't WAIT to transition to maintenance at my goal because I will be able to eat ANY VEGGIE I WANT! =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Jun 11, 2011 3:31 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

What a Difference a Year Can Make...

Today I put my hair into a pony tail, grabbed my multi-color bag from Roatan, my flip-flops, and hopped on my bicycle. I pedaled a short distance to the Organic Farm we have in our neighborhood community (called Agritopia), and proceeded to pick 7 pounds of organic vegetables.

I came home with my bag full of cucumbers, zucchini, beets (for fam), red onions, serrano peppers, and 3 different varieties of tomatoes. I'm putting pictures of them on Mypage, but have included one as an attachment for the blog.

One year ago I was miserably morbidly obese. I had a BMI of 47 and was wearing size 26 jeans and NOT doing anything about it. One year ago I would spend my Saturday morning in bed or on the couch, because moving was difficult.

One year ago I wore sweat pants and mens XXL T-shirts.

What a difference a year makes. I am now into my size 10 and 12 jeans, and am actually able to wear the stylish size Medium tops I have in my closet. I can bicycle to a farm and pick my own vegetables for my family.

I am happy.

Today I am meeting with a few Medifast ladies at The Coffee Shop at 1:00 on Ray and Higley in Gilbert. I will take my bicycle there also. Oh, look at the time, I'd better get ready to go!

Posted Saturday, Jun 11, 2011 2:54 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: Agritopiaveg.jpg

Some Days are "5 Brownie Day" days.

Need I say more? Oh, but you know I will! LOL!

Today is a "5 Brownie Day" day. And why not? I can, I want to, it is on plan, and I am enjoying it!

I started with a brownie for breakfast, just as I always do. Mid-morning came along, and I felt like eating a brownie. Had my 7 oz shrimp and 1.5 cups cooked mushrooms, and 1 tsp olive oil over top (other health fat was my 2 TBSP half and half this morning), and I've just had a brownie for my 3rd Medifast meal.

I think I'll have a brownie for my dinner and then again for my evening meal.

I love Medifast.

Posted Friday, Jun 10, 2011 6:34 PM by kb1968 | 13 Comments [Edit Post]

Permission to Succeed

I have given myself permission to succeed.

In this journey to optimal health, the only person who has the power to keep my from my dream of having a healthy BMI and being a fit and healthy mom and wife and SELF is......you guessed it....ME.

And I have given myself the green light.

I have the tools, let's face it, Medifast makes that part easy.

I have the focus. Because I fix my gaze on my goal every morning and every evening.

I am focusing on what I want, and what I can achieve in this journey. I am NOT focusing on what I am missing and what I can't have.

This leaves me with an underlying feeling of hope and adventure instead of despair and deprivation. Which makes all the difference for me. Who wants to live like that?

So...I stay "On Plan" daily, which for me means as written in the Quick Start Guide, scheduling my meals every 2-3 hours, not exceeding 3 condiments, bypassing the optional snack unless I feel VERY hungry, and drinking half my weight in water. That's the secret of my success.

Adherence is not only "a" key, it is "the" key, and it is the difference in success and no-so-much-success on this plan.

And I will adhere REALLY, not SORTA, or MOSTLY.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Jun 10, 2011 12:52 PM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Life Will Pay Whatever Price You Ask of It

Posted Friday, Jun 10, 2011 10:25 AM by kb1968 | 0 Comments [Edit Post]

Starting to Feel the Shift in My Mentality....SLOWLY....

....the Mentality of seeing myself as a large person, and as a more normal-weigh person.

It is mind-blowing, no doubt about that. To catch my reflection in a shopfront window when I'm not expecting it, to slip on the size 10's....and they are fitting with less and less muffin-top. Dare I try on the 8's?

Folks, I am vowing never to forget what it feels like to be morbidly obese. And I am very excited at what each new day brings.

A note of warning I posted on the discussion thread, do NOT forget to try on ALL your smaller clothes OFTEN. I pretty much missed the window for wearing ALL my Large tops because I went from an XL top to a Medium top in the last 2 weeks. Crazy.

Posted Thursday, Jun 9, 2011 2:06 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

Into the Beautiful Lyrics by Cloverton

Take me into the Beautiful, won't you take me back again
With a love unexplainable come fill up this dry land
Let it open our eyes to see the world we've never seen
Let it open our hearts up to feel You inside of us, here inside of me

Take me into the Beautiful where the rivers flow with a love that never ends
Oh I wanna go into the beautiful, la la la la la la la
Take me into the Beautiful where the faces glow with a light that never dims
Oh I wanna go into the Beautiful, come on and take me again
La la la la la la la la

Take me into the mystery gently lift me with Your grace
Make the chaos a chorus with itself come fill this place
Cover me with Your mercy come and cover me with love
Cover me so that all men see that it's You, not me, that it's You that I'm singing of

Take me into the Beautiful where the rivers flow with a love that never ends
Oh I wanna go into the Beautiful, la la la la la la
Take me into the Beautiful where the faces glow with a light that never dims
Oh I wanna go into the Beautiful, come on and take me again

Your love is brighter than diamonds when I'm with You
A love that always invites us to be with You
Your love is brighter than diamonds now I'm with You

Take me into the Beautiful where the rivers flow with a love that never ends
Oh I wanna go into the Beautiful, la la la la la la la
Take me into the Beautiful where the faces glow with a light that never dims
Oh I wanna go into the Beautiful, come on and take me again
La la la la la la la la la
Come on and take me again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhOVPBZhzn8&feature=related

Posted Thursday, Jun 9, 2011 2:05 AM by kb1968 | 1 Comments [Edit Post]

I Have Officially Reached the "I Didn't Recognize You!" Phase....hee hee!

Today I saw someone who had not seen me in 3-4 months. He works at a Tokyo Express in Scottsdale, and as I have been going to Tokyo Express for about 25 years now, that is saying quite a bit.

This manager, a sweet gentleman who I've seen there for the last 25 years (yes, since I was 16 yrs old) waited on my son and I today. As I was collecting my son's food, he looked at me and said "It is YOU! I didn't recognize you!"

We had a great talk about Medifast and my success on the program. I have lost 93 lbs, so I just tell people I've lost "close to 100 pounds" because saying "Ninety-Three" kinda sounds like I'm keeping a little too close of track. And I am, but they don't need to know that LOL

The cool thing about it is that he DID see me 3-4 months ago, it's not like he hasn't seen me since I started Medifast! But my body has significantly changed in the last 3 months, (about 30 lbs) which is the super-cool part. Before he just registered me as "large" and large was large so my gradual incremental shrinking did not make as MUCH of an impact on him as this last 3-4 months has. I truly believe that I am getting there.

It felt good. Starting last July 31st at 268 and a BMI of over 47 I knew what would get me here. Medifast, and my commitment to the plan. And I am doing it. Day by day.

We have now entered the "thrilling" part of the adventure. Strap in!!!!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 8, 2011 4:42 PM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

One Day, One Day, One Day at a Time!

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you go from over 47 BMI to 31 BMI? One day at a time.

Yes, I am thrilled to say my BMI today is 31. Just last July 31st it was over 47. That put me in the morbidly morbidly obese category, at 268 lbs and 5 ' 3".

And my body knew it. Aches, pains, back trouble, trouble sleeping, fatigue, depression, you name it. I had no "apparent" health issues, besides the obesity that was killing me, but I was becoming insulin resistant, had a resting heart rate of OVER 90, and would come to find out I had the early symptoms of PAD (peripheral artery disease), which is in the realm of cardiovascular disease.

Medifast was the tool I used, it was the lifesaver ring that was thrown out from the boat of life. But I had to grab it. And grab it I did.

Now I have none of those health issues. I run, I ride my bike, I swim with my child at the community pool. I help others achieve their health goals and I am loving, LOVING life.

Now off to find my running shoes because I've got an appointment with the pavement!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 8, 2011 8:59 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Intentionality

Being deliberate in our decisions is part of what makes Medifast work on an individual basis.

I do not adhere to the plan by accident. I don't mindlessly prepare all my meals and my lean and green and just so "happen" to find at the end of the day that I was On Plan.

My day is deliberate. I live with intentionality and purpose, and everything that goes into my mouth has to pass the test of "will this help me achieve my goals or delay my goals?"

How about you?

Posted Tuesday, Jun 7, 2011 9:27 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

And today brings me one day closer....

Today I am one more day closer to my goal. Today I will focus on ONLY today. One of these "today's" I will wake up at goal. It may be 6 months of "today's" or 5 months of "today's", perhaps even 7 months of "today's".

I don't know. But today I will focus on today.

Posted Tuesday, Jun 7, 2011 12:44 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Eyes on the Prize

I don't know about you, but I go crazy obsessing on things I'm fixated on. I have to be really careful about what I turn my attention to, or else my plans crumble and I'm left a little dazed and confused.

For example, I like red wine. However, I've determined that it will sit on the shelf until I am in maintenance because that is what I have committed to myself I will do. Most days I don't even glance at it. It sits as a happy reminder of the healthy lifestyle I will maintain once I hit my goal and transition.

But here is the danger. When I start thinking about red wine and imagining myself with a glass, my mind will begin to run with those thoughts. My inner-brat will sense an opening, a weakness if you will, and will attempt a mutiny.

So when I recognize that I am beginning to focus a little too much on those things I have chosen NOT to have while achieving my goals and dreams, I pull myself back, I take my thoughts captive, and I continue on my day. Insert whatever it is that you are feeling particularly deprived of these days.

The very fact that we feel "deprived" of it makes us want it more. I challenge you, and I challenge me, to turn that around and instead of feeling "deprived", realize that it is a choice we have made to abstain in order to reach OUR goals. The things WE want for ourselves, that we have decided are MORE important than the temporary and transient (and in some cases deadly because indulging is keeping us fat and unhealthy and prone to all sorts of diseases!) pleasures of eating "XXXXX".

Focusing on feelings of deprivation registers in our brain as "loss". And when we have a "loss" of something, we grieve over it. Now it is up to us to determine how long we will let that "grief" manifest itself. If we continue to fixate on the food we are "missing" then, well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, our feelings of grief and loss over not eating "XXX" will only increase, and we will experience over and over the first 4 stages of grief:

Anger
Denial
Bargaining
Depression

And thus never able to achieve the final stage of grief which is:

Resignation/Acceptance

Sure we all go through the first 4 stages on our Medifast journey. The quicker we can get through them to the resignation/acceptance phase the better. But when we fixate on "XXX" kind of food or alcohol, we risk snapping back out of resignation in to anger, denial, bargaining, or depression, or even some combination of all 4. We will cycle in and out of those, risking our programs in the process, until finally coming to terms and accepting again that we are on a journey to health that does NOT include eating "XXX" right now.

Some people don't make it back to resignation/acceptance, and end up back here in a year or two ready to try again. I'm a big fan of trying again, if you read my story you'll see why. =)

But now I feel like I have really reached the resignation/acceptance phase. And I guard it fiercely because it was hard to get here.

And I'm not going anywhere.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, Jun 6, 2011 2:12 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Kurt Warner and Us!

We had our Bi-Annual First Things First Disneyworld Families Reunion yesterday with the Warners and their family, and it was super fun!

It was also super fun because I had so much energy and was not 268 lbs anymore like I was when we went to Disneyworld (I think I topped 275 coming back from that trip, actually!)

It was great to get to talk to my friend Brenda for awhile, and even Kurt, about my success on Medifast, and how health effects every single area of our lives. Now that I am down *almost* 100 lbs it becomes more real to me every day that I am, in fact, doing this!

I wanted to post a picture because I think they are just uber-cool people.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, Jun 5, 2011 11:44 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: KWWarnerUs.jpg

Learning Contentment

Take2Heart wrote a blog earlier about the fact that she had no particular "words of wisdom" (and I disagree, she had plenty from where I am sitting!) to share but had a general overwhelming feeling of warm contentment.

I think that is the wisest thing I have heard.

It made me think. Because I can relate to that kind of peace, that kind of contentment. I feel it too. Do I "feel" it every day? Every moment? Well, no I don't but it is more like the canvas onto which all other aspects of my life are being painted on. Some days the colors in my palette are bright and splashy, bold and beautiful, and the contrast is amazing. Some days, the colors being used are more subdued, run together a bit, have no clear lines, and some days the overriding color on my palette is "blue" (hence the Medi-Blues), or an inner-raging "red" (once a month LOL).

But the canvass is contentment because I KNOW so very deep within my soul that I am doing everything I possibly can to create the best version of myself possible.

If I eat off program, or have a little "extra" half and half in my coffee, it is as if my inner-brat has punched a knife through that canvass. I must repair that bit before I move on, and that takes energy and threatens my confidence in my ability to continue on the course I have chosen.

The course I have chosen is leading me to my goal.

Psalm 16:6 (NIV) says:
"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance."

The context of this verse if speaking about sheep living in a pasture. The boundary lines are the boundary of the pasture, the line which has been man-made using a fence or naturally occurring like an outcropping of rocks which create a confining space. The sheep must stay, therefore, within the boundary of their pasture.

This verse is expressing that whomever said it (King David apparently) was content with the limitations, whether natural or man-made, that had been placed on, or existed in, his life. The lines which say "you cannot cross this".

For me this verse has incredible meaning in my life and encompasses almost every area I know of.

What are those boundary lines in my life? Well, I have two that I know of, both with the power to create resentment and bitterness if I allow them to.

First of all, in my diet. My body will always have limitations because of how it processes food. Years of obesity, years of yo-yo dieting, have taken their toll, and my body is a highly tuned efficient machine when it comes to storing fat. It will always be so. Therefore, I have learned, thanks to Medifast, what it takes for me to work WITH my body and it's limitations in order to create optimal health INSPITE of how it will always try to store fat at every opportunity. Currently, Medifast IS my boundary line. The aspects of the diet, as written by Medifast in the Quick Start Guide, ARE my hard and fast boundary lines.

I have two ways of looking at this. I can be the sheep who is always trying to get out, around, or under the fence. I can be the sheep who is looking longingly at the pasture beyond that boundary, the "grass is always greener" sheep, who resents the boundary line.

Or, I can be the content sheep. The one who is happily grazing on her Soft Serve, her MF Original Pancakes, and who is preparing her lean, leaner, and leanest options with lower carb vegetables and appropriate healthy fats, no more or no less, and making sure her condiments do not go over 3 if she uses them at all. I can spend my time and live my happy and content life within the confines of my boundary lines and be at peace. When Transition and Maintenance comes, my boundary lines will move a bit. And I will learn what new pasture I can graze on, how it effects my body, and be content with the NEW boundary lines.

What I will not do is plot and plan how I will thwart those boundary lines just this once. And again, I will not do that because I am CONTENT with my own boundary lines.

The second area of my life where I have boundary lines is in the realm of my son's health. He is our angel, our dear only child. He is 6 and had a kidney transplant 3 years ago and is doing so wonderfully now. He is our little miracle. Because of his chronic condition, there are vast limitations in our lifestyle and daily goings-on (med-schedules, water-drinking schedules, food allergies, etc) which potentially could be viewed with a level of resentment for the level of planning required, and the places we can or cannot go, and things which we can or cannot do.

But the verse rings true for me in that aspect as well, I am content with the boundary lines and where they fall, and I am happy to live my life within them. For as long as I have my son to take care of whether I outlive him or he outlives me, I cherish every moment I get to spend with him.

The bottom line is that contentment is a learned thing. It does not come easy, or naturally, or accidentally. And happy is he who has learned to be content in whatever circumstances he is in.

Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV) says:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

I guess I'll end here because I cannot say it any better than Paul did.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Saturday, Jun 4, 2011 11:42 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

The Hidden Dangers of Feeling GREAT!

For many of us, being obese was/is a daily misery. We felt/feel awful. We felt/feel awful about ourselves, we never looked/look in a mirror, our joints hurt, our backs hurt, and we lived/live in a semi-permanent state of general disgust.

We, using the tools of Medifast, have the opportunity to change that a little bit each day.

One day during this process (atleast for me) I woke up and felt, well, in a word, HAPPY!

It came on so gradually I almost didn't notice it!

But here is where it gets dangerous, especially for me. When I feel happy with myself and happy with my body (in the past) I have let my guard down. I have often thought that because I LOOK normal, my body must BE normal.

And what I USED to fail to really understand is that my body will ALWAYS process excess calories into stored fat. Always. Without exception. I may LOOK like that skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants and not gain an ounce, but I am NOT her and never will be. (Well, skinny is a even a stretch of MY imagination right now, but you get the picture!)

I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL. And I have accepted that this is OK.

I will always need to be scrutinizing my intake. I will always need to be living with intentionality as regards my diet. ALWAYS. I can not take a vacation from my body, or how it handles excess calories.

Some days I wish I could. Then I remember that I have asked God to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. This I cannot change, but my response and my intake I CAN manage and I HAVE changed.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, Jun 3, 2011 10:45 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Ann Taylor Loft = Good Times!

So one of the benefits to losing weight (down from size 26) is shopping in "normal" clothing stores again. And since I'm a big "goal" clothing shopper, I like to have "nice" things both on my journey DOWNWARD to my goal size, and AT my goal size.

I am the queen of bargains, but I just seem to stumble into them.

For example, last night I dropped in to Ann Taylor Loft after passing the incredibly expensive Banana Republic (sorry I'm still not paying $50 on sale for a dress that was ridiculously overpriced at $158 to begin with!), and Coldwater Creek (Buy one, get next item 50% off but we'll still charge you over $100 to get out the door with two items!).

Now, although I DID get a shirt at Banana Republic for $12 last week ($59 normally) I can't complain too much about Banana. But their sale rack was pretty picked over today.

So, on to Ann Taylor Loft. I found a pair of 10P brown pin-striped trousers for $4.88. AND there was an additional 30% off the sale price, so we are talking $3.42 out the door. I bought 10P, 6P, and 2P. For $10.26 I got 3 pairs of $69 trousers.

And a pretty light pink 1/2 merino wool light cardigan/shrug for $12.00. I was feelin' pretty shop-savvy walking out of there for less than $25!

Posted Friday, Jun 3, 2011 10:21 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

91 down, 59 to go. And much joy in the journey.

There is joy in my journey. It feels different this time around. The first time I lost my weight I was ecstatic, like I was unwrapping a new gift every day. This time, it is a quiet and deep sense of joy, since I know in my soul that I am changing on the outside AND on the inside.

The first 20 pounds this time around was spent restoring faith in myself. I already had faith in the plan. As I worked it, and saw the weight coming off....sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes infuriatingly slow (or so I thought!), I was building a sense of trust with myself again.

Upon trust came a creeping sense of joy. At first it was so small I couldn't really put my finger on it. It was just a feeling of being "lighter" in my spirit. I smiled more. I engaged strangers more.

Now I'm full on GLOWING, people! I can't wait for opportunities to TELL people how they, too, can DO THIS THING!

Which is why I'm so active on the boards, and I carry information on Medifast around with me virtually everywhere I go. It's a life-saver. We are truly saving our lives, one decision, one little packet, one bottle of water, one Lean and Green, on DAY at a time.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, Jun 2, 2011 11:17 AM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

A Striking Statistic

Bear in mind that 95% of the people on these boards will struggle with maintaining their weight loss. I know. I was one of them. And I very well could be one of them again. I won't really know in foresight, only in hindsight. Because that is 20/20.

But, I am determined with all that is in me that I WILL be a part of the 5% club, those who maintain their weight loss.

I am not saying that to point fingers, because whenever I point a finger there are at LEAST three fingers (on my hand) pointing back at me.

Just bear it in mind if you are wondering if it is really worth it to stay on plan this week, like TOTALLY on plan.

On plan as Medifast wrote it, not on plan as you have seen it tweaked and massaged in other part of the boards and blogs.

For example, and I'm just using this as an EXAMPLE, no judgments, no 15 messages from people saying they've done it and lost...just an EXAMPLE...did you know that Laughing Cow Cheese is NOT on the Medifast Plan as written?

Nutrition Support has given information on how, if you absolutely HAD to utilize it, "here's how but we don't recommend it". I got the same answer from them when I REALLY wanted to add Avocado to my plan. They didn't recommend it, but said "here's how but we don't recommend it". Same when people want to add wine or alcohol to their plan. You get the same "here's how to minimize the damage but we don't recommend it".

Now of course we are all adults. But think of it this way,
would you agree that much of the advice you get on these boards and blogs from other Medifasters is to do as you wish, we are all adults, and if you want to work it in to your plan, then so be it? That you can always get back on afterwards? That it won't hurt your losses TOO much?

Would ya say about 95% of the advice would be that?

Posted Wednesday, Jun 1, 2011 6:08 PM by kb1968 | 16 Comments [Edit Post]

When I Just Don't "Feel" Like It

My feelings are fickle, I don't know about yours. Part of my journey has been learning to dissociate my feelings, both emotional and how my body "feels" from day to day, from what I eat.

Now, for an emotional eater, that is a tall order.

But it has been a necessary component of my weight loss journey of self-discovery.

For example, it is just about TOM. This has caused me to "feel" pretty crazy both emotionally and physically. I feel bloated. My jeans are a little snug. Now, I KNOW why this is. But the actual feeling of being bloated and having snug jeans when I don't think they should be snug causes me to "feel" like I've already blown it diet-wise, when I KNOW I have not.

When I "feel" like I've blown it, I "feel" like having whatever I want because I've already blown it so why not enjoy the rest of the day/week?

And it's not true. Firstly, it's just a lie. I haven't blown my diet. I feel bloated and big because I'm TOM. Secondly, even if I HAD gone off plan and eaten something to cause me to feel bloated that is NO cause to make poor choices for the rest of the day/week!

These are the issues I have identified and, I feel, really begun to address. The lies that my brain tells myself based on how I feel emotionally or physically. My responses to those lies is to CHALLENGE THEM WITH TRUTH, and to be at peace despite how I feel, knowing I am doing everything day by day to further my health goals.

I will not derail myself. I will not let my body call the shots. I am master over my body, not the other way around.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 1, 2011 10:51 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

One Day, One Day, One Day at a Time!

Posted Wednesday, Jun 8, 2011 8:59 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Intentionality

Posted Tuesday, Jun 7, 2011 9:27 PM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

And today brings me one day closer....

Posted Tuesday, Jun 7, 2011 12:44 PM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Eyes on the Prize

Posted Monday, Jun 6, 2011 2:12 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Kurt Warner and Us!

Posted Sunday, Jun 5, 2011 11:44 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Attachment: KWWarnerUs.jpg

Learning Contentment

Posted Saturday, Jun 4, 2011 11:42 AM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

The Hidden Dangers of Feeling GREAT!

Posted Friday, Jun 3, 2011 10:45 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

Ann Taylor Loft = Good Times!

Posted Friday, Jun 3, 2011 10:21 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

91 down, 59 to go. And much joy in the journey.

Posted Thursday, Jun 2, 2011 11:17 AM by kb1968 | 9 Comments [Edit Post]

A Striking Statistic

Posted Wednesday, Jun 1, 2011 6:08 PM by kb1968 | 16 Comments [Edit Post]

When I Just Don't "Feel" Like It

Posted Wednesday, Jun 1, 2011 10:51 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

My Road to Restoration Involves Forgiveness. Forgiving MYSELF.

This is kind of a tough one to write, but hopefully it will help someone on their journey.

My path has been somewhat unique. In 06/07 I lost 140 lbs in 14 months on Medifast. I gained it all back in the next 14 months.

Back up at my high weight, I despised myself. My self-loathing knew no depths. And that was part of my problem.

Who wants to take care of and nurture something they despise? I despised my body. Mirrors were a constant source of heartache for me. My new "goal wardrobe" hung in my closet, condemning me every time I went in. Eventually, I stopped going in, and instead wore sweat pants and sweat shirts/t-shirts instead, leaving them draped on my bedroom floor when not in use. I had become, in a word, slovenly.

My outsides matched my insides. Confused, bewildered, I began a deep soul-searching which involved Beth Moore (a conference), and spending a little bit of time with my friend Brenda Warner. These two ladies' inspiration, their common message, was one of hope.

The hope they shared with me was two-fold. Beth, at her conference, shared that we are all built for eternity. That God has made each of us unique in our own ways, and we are His. And He wants us to live up to our full God-given potential. Brenda shared with me the truth that it is never too late to become the person we might have been.

And there I was, 268 lbs and hating myself. Hating that I had lost the weight and gained it back. Hating how my body had betrayed me. Hating every moment of how it felt to lumber down the grocery aisle, sweating, pushing a cart everyone was scrutinizing. Hating the fact that no one wanted to catch my eye. Hating the wrinkle-lines that were becoming more permanent between my eye-brows from my scowling. Hating how rude I was to perfect strangers, how I snapped at my family for no good reason.

And then in a moment of clarity, I forgave myself.

I forgave my body. I forgave my spirit. I forgave myself. I began Medifast. Again. I did the work. I clawed my way, meal by meal, out of my despair. I started at an Obese BMI + 99 lbs extra! So for me, hitting "overweight", which I will hit in 8 more pounds of loss, is a real milestone.

I don't hate myself. I love myself. I AM worthy. I CAN do this, and I am proving that to myself every day.

And this time, I'll transition and maintain. Day by day.

Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2011 7:10 PM by kb1968 | 15 Comments [Edit Post]

You are your problem. You are also your solution.

So many of us, I know I in particular, can identify with the title of my blog.

We wouldn't be here if we weren't our problem. And you know what? We also wouldn't be here if the second part wasn't true, that we are our solution.

Medifast is not the solution. Medifast is a tool. We are the solution. And we are grown-up, fully-capable individuals who can DO THIS THING for 24 hours. Just 24 hours.

No matter whether we have 150 more pounds to lose, or 50 more pounds to lose, the next 24 hours is ALL we need worry about. The next 24 hours WILL determine whether we eventually get to our goal.....or whether we revert back to being our problem.

When I began this recent journey last summer, I had 150 pounds to lose. Now I have 50-ish pounds to lose. The difference between last summer beginning the program and now? Just a day. The same day, repeated over and over, but still just TODAY. And TODAY I will be my solution. TODAY I will stay On Plan.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Tuesday, May 31, 2011 11:50 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

Happy Sunday!

Just a quick note to say "Happy Sunday!" Let's make this an ON plan day! If you are struggling, remember to BLOG, don't EAT.

Catch you on the flip side!

Posted Sunday, May 29, 2011 9:54 AM by kb1968 | 4 Comments [Edit Post]

Forks over Knives...the documentary

All I can say is it pretty much rocked my world. If any of you get a chance to see this movie, see it. It is opening in select markets nationwide this month, and is already open in some locations. Artsy Indy theatres will most likely be carrying it. I saw it at the Camelview here in Phoenix and am taking my teenaged nieces to see it in the morning.

Wow. Wow.

The premise is that it is about how our Western Diet, specifically in the last 40-50 years, has contributed to many degenerative diseases. It is eye-opening if anything.

Just thought I'd share.

Posted Saturday, May 28, 2011 11:09 PM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

The Power of a Dream

I have a large tin placard in my kitchen that reads "Believe in your dreams and you will achieve them".

I am sold on this concept.

One year ago I was at a Beth Moore convention in Tucson. She spoke on reaching our God-given potential here on earth. You see, many people of my faith look towards heaven and forget that we are ALREADY eternal beings. Our eternity, our hope, is already here!

As a result of the "heaven someday" mindset, we sometimes NEGLECT our physical bodies here on earth. And let's face it, this life ain't a picnic. But we CAN choose how to take care of this vessel we are in for the short term. We CAN choose what quality our life will have, and I believe it is our God-given responsibility to "Honor Him with our bodies" and present them a "living sacrifice".

Hmmmm. A living sacrifice. Does this mean I can't eat my double-fudge-yummo-sludge? For me, yes, that is exactly what that means. My body responds to double-fudge-yummo-sludge in a way that makes me appear to be a glutton. And let's face it, anyone who is packing 100 pounds into the OBESE BMI will present themselves to everyone around them as a glutton.

Gluttony is one of those acceptable sins in the modern Western church today. We celebrate every event with food, food, and more food. We have church potlucks for "food and fellowship", emphasis on food. We fully understand that murder and adultery, well those are SERIOUS sins...

But I contend that Gluttony is as serious, and as damaging. We are killing OURSELVES. We are cheating OURSELVES. And I was a far cry from honoring my body and presenting it a living sacrifice when I weighed 268.

For me, part of this is a spiritual discipline. A daily commitment to attempt to honor Him with my body, to become the person I COULD have been, the person I can still YET BE. Because God made me. And every day I am thankful for that.

Posted Saturday, May 28, 2011 11:46 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Positive Goals and Negative Goals

What's the difference? Negative goals are usually what start us out on a weight loss program. They aren't called "negative" goals because they are bad or wrong, not at all. they are called negative goals because they involve trying to move AWAY from the discomfort, pain, or consequences (medically for example) of being obese.

When the pain of staying the same OUTWEIGHS the pain of change, we, being creatures who wish to avoid pain, will move in the direction of CHANGE.

But at some point along the line we MUST re-evaluate our goals, because one by one those negative goals will be met.

If we are relying solely on those goals to keep us "motivated" then the "motivation" will disappear as those negative goals are met.

Examples of negative goals:

**I don't want to be the largest one in the room anymore

**I don't want to be wearing jeans whose size begins with a "2_"

**I want to be off my BP medication or insulin

**I just want to be able to get off the floor without a furniture prop to rely on

**I don't want to have to have a seatbelt extender on the airplane

**I want my knees/back to stop hurting from carrying around 100 pounds of fat I don't need

Do you see that these are all "negative goals" meaning things we are running away FROM?

So, what happens when you start meeting them? Your Doc cuts your medication in half. You wake up with NO pain in your back. You move into a size 18 jeans. You can get up from sitting on the floor playing with your kids on your own strength. You aren't the biggest one in the room anymore. When this happens, you tend to lose some motivation bit by bit.

How do we stay on task? How do we stop being "comfortable" with where we are, and therefore, lax on the program?

Now, let's think in terms of "Positive Goals"

**I want to wear Medium tops and size 8 jeans again

**I want to be able to run a mile without stopping

**I want to fit into my wedding dress again

**I want to look great for my 25-year reunion

**I want to skydive

**I want to horseback ride

**I want to walk into a running store and look like I belong

**I want to buy a size 8 dress off the rack at Macy's and not have the cashier ask if I want a gift receipt with that

**I want to be midrange of a healthy BMI for my height

**I want Optimal Health

These are examples of things or events that you are moving TOWARDS, not trying to AVOID. So you look FORWARD to them, and they help draw you in to making your lifestyle change a permanent one.

So my homework for myself this week is to review my list of "why's", of why I am doing this plan, and to begin to change my negative goals into positive goals.

How about you?

Dr. A talks about all these things in his book "Habits of Health" which I can highly recommend.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, May 27, 2011 12:35 PM by kb1968 | 10 Comments [Edit Post]

What? I could always be bigger? Dang Dude.

One of the lovely catch-phrases that float around my head every so often is "You could always be bigger", the "you" referring to yours truly.

Scares the dickens out of me, and it is so true!

Let me tell you a story.

Disneyworld, 2009 trip with Kurt Warner's family and 8 other families of "Make-A-Wish" Kids. I was nearing my all-time high of 268, and that is my highest "recorded" weight although I'm pretty sure I actually was in the 270's coming home from that trip.

You enter into a certain numbed out mindset as you are gaining weight that you'll hit a certain ceiling, say the biggest you were before losing weight the "last time" and somehow you'll stop gaining. I think it is some sort of self-protection that the brain figures you can't handle the truth, and so you delude yourself into thinking life at that high weight wasn't UNBEARABLE, I mean, you still laughed, you still had fun, you know, denial.

But then something that happens that makes you realize the hard truth.

Just when you thought you were as big as you could be, you GET BIGGER. How do I know this? I mean really, who can measure?

I'll tell you who can FLIPPIN' measure, those SEAT BELTS on the AIRPLANES. That's who. And they are as objective and cold-hearted as they come.

So I managed to get TO Disneyworld without an extender. I even managed to buckle my belt on the way HOME at the gate before departure.

But then something happened SO TRAUMATIC that it left an indelible impression on my very SOUL.

......

Are you ready for it?

.....

Midway through the 4 hour flight I got up to use the rest room. When I came back to my seat and attempted to buckle my seatbelt.......(cue ominous music)....

It wouldn't click.

How do you explain to a flight attendant that, ahem, you need an extender NOW, midflight, when you DIDN'T need one at the gate?

I realized I wasn't just expanding by the month, or by the week, or by the day, I was EXPANDING BY THE HOUR.

By the HOUR, people.

So. When I say "you could always be bigger" to myself, I know that I mean it, and I KNOW that I KNOW that I know what that means.

Fear. Fear is not a bad motivator, it gives me that little edge of protection against my inner-brat. I'll keep a little healthy fear in the back of my brain. It's in my little bag of tricks that I pull out if I am particularly tempted by something not on plan.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, May 27, 2011 1:18 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Hitting Our Stride? Or NOT?

Have you ever seen a baby try to walk? They take a few steps, they fall down. They take a few steps, they fall down.

Have you ever seen an adult who never stopped walking like a baby? Literally? Take a few (real) steps, fall down. Take a few (real) steps, fall down. I think if we saw someone doing this who was NOT a baby or a toddler we would wonder why they weren't walking "normal", why the whole "walking" thing never quite took, never became natural.

I think of that in terms of the Medifast program.

Balance. Objective. Goals. Determination. Perseverance. All of these words come to my mind when I think about a baby who is learning to walk. It is also what we need while we change our life utilizing Medifast!

And most of all, commitment. Babies never give up trying to walk, and neither should we. No matter how many times we fall down.

As far as my personal experience, anyone who knows my story knows that I not only fell down, I tumbled off a 140 story building. But I didn't stay there. And I began again with a renewed goal, which was to be the best version of myself that I could possibly be, to live up to my God-given potential.

There came a point in my Medifast experience when I hit my stride. I stopped falling down. I stopped kidding myself that it was "OK" to fall down every once in awhile, that everyone "falls down" and it is only a matter of getting back up, or that if I had a "planned falling down", or a "falling down with a wine glass in my hand" then it wasn't really falling down because I CHOSE to do it, etc etc.

For me, and for my Medifast Story, the falling down is over, Lord willing. I make my good decisions and ask the Lord to back those good decisions up with His strength. But He has never made the good decision for me. That part I get to do on my own. Will I never ever make a single new bad decision for the rest of my life? Can't and won't say that. But for today? Nope. I will make no bad decisions TODAY.

I have made a choice to be constant and consistent, and I am doing this. One meal at a time, one day at a time.

I am a 41 year old woman and I can finally say that I know how to walk. What took me so long!!! =)

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, May 26, 2011 6:47 PM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

Closure on the End of an Era

Last week I gave all of my specialty dessert/cake baking cookbooks away. This is no small thing, as I had several BOXES of them.

You see, I love to cook. I am a foodie, a cook, and I used to decorate wedding cakes.

And oh boy did I have a good collection of those types of books. But here is the thing. I will never be using them again, not for myself, and not for my family!

The only cookbooks that remain on my shelves are those which contain healthy fare. Simple ingredients, lots of veggies. Some vegetarian.

I have made this a lifestyle change, and that includes ridding my house of The Cake Bible and Collette's Cakes and even Paula Dean. Gone.

Have a great day!

Posted Wednesday, May 25, 2011 3:54 PM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

May 16th 2011 - May 25th 2011

2011-07-06T18:28:00.000-07:00

Revisiting my "Why?"

Every month or so I try to revisit my "Why".

My "Why" is my overall reason for doing Medifast, for getting control of my health and my life. Why? Why am I doing this?

There are many reasons which weave into an ongoing tapestry of my life.

But have you ever seen the UNDERSIDE of a tapestry? Sometimes I feel like I'm staring mostly at that underside, which is just a jumble of colors, tied off threads, willy nilly with no perceivable pattern, rhyme, or reason. The stuff of life. The daily distractions. The concerns and worries, the small fires I have to put out daily to manage my household.

Every once in awhile, though, I turn over that unfinished tapestry and see that I am truly weaving a masterpiece. And it is those glimpses which continue to confirm that I am in this for the long haul, for the life style and that NO ONE can unravel that tapestry except ME.

The picture on the tapestry is that of reaching my God-given potential. It is, after all, the least I can do in return and in gratitude for the life I have been given. God designed my body to be a healthy weight. I will make sure I honor my body and my God by becoming and maintaining exactly what He designed me to be. Because it is never too late to become the person we might have been.

Onward and downward! What is YOUR tapestry a picture of?

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat.

Posted Wednesday, May 25, 2011 10:43 AM by kb1968 | 2 Comments [Edit Post]

The beauty of Medifast....it works!

So I'm down just about 90 lbs and if there are any newbies out there let me tell you my secret.

One day at a time, one meal at a time, rinse and repeat. Go to bed, wake up, new day.

One day at a time, one meal at a time, rinse and repeat. Go to bed, wake up, new day.

Live life in the meantime, but don't let food be part of your definition of "living life".

Read the materials, familiarize yourself with the program for YOU. If you have questions about what is or isn't on plan, ask Nutrition Support, you can either post your question or pick up the phone and CALL them for an immediate answer.

Lastly, enjoy the process. Rejoice in your accomplishments, for if you are on plan they will be many. Remember that life doesn't "start" when you reach goal. There are many joys to be found along the way TO goal. Look for them and they will find you!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and repeat!

Posted Tuesday, May 24, 2011 11:01 AM by kb1968 | 7 Comments [Edit Post]

PAD - Warrants a Second Blog All To Itself

I have recently discovered that I have PAD. Peripheral Arterial Disease. Besides having Metabolic Syndrome and Insulin Resistance, PAD rears it's ugly head.

The good news is that although I have this diagnosis, I am already almost 90 pounds in to doing something about it. It can be almost completely mitigated by becoming a healthy weight. Since I am 11 lbs away from overweight (still "barely" obese) I am much more encouraged than I would be had I found this out 90 pounds ago with 100 to go to just "overweight"!

I found out that 50% of those diagnosed with PAD will have a fatal or severe cardiac event within 5 years. If that isn't an implied expiration date I don't know what is! Fifty percent?!

Wow. Talk about adding a little bit of extra resolve to my already-resolute program! Funny, my inner-sabateur got a severe reprimand today when she suggested I add extra half and half to my coffee. Usually I give her a polite "no". Today I yelled at her and threw her unceremoniously into the closet. Did I mention the strait jacket? Ha!

The key to short-term mitigation is doing things that will increase the circulation in the lower extremities. The bicycle I purchased last week at a garage sale has been used EVERY DAY because I love to ride it! And oddly enough, I have been a-symptomatic for PAD since I began riding it! So I will continue.

I also started a low-dose aspirin regimen and the combination of the two I believe is doing the trick. I hope to never experience the symptoms again, they feel like a charlie-horse in the rear end!

Anyway, just wanted to mention that I am optimistic PAD will not be an issue for me now that I am getting to a more healthy weight.

Thanks for listening!

Posted Monday, May 23, 2011 9:41 AM by kb1968 | 2 Comments [Edit Post]

Epictetus...First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

Epictetus is one my favorite philosophers when it comes to quotable quotes. He just has a way of capturing everything I try to say in an entire paragraph and distilling it into one sentence.

This is my journey.

Back in July of 2010 I said I would someday soon be a model of health. I would lose my 150 lbs, be at my goal weight, and be helping others do the same.

In May of 2011, I am well on my way to my goal weight (down almost 90 lbs now), and I am becoming a model of health. I am also helping others do the same.

Every morning I "say" what I will do today as regards my food intake. I let my exercise be impulsive and random, but the food I write down at the beginning of the day based on my schedule, whether I'll be on the go or not, etc, and my desires. Do I feel like having a brownie 5 times that day? Then I do. Do I want to mix my shake and my caramel bar and make frozen bon-bon bites? Then I make them! Thing is I plan for the day so that I am prepared for the day.

Then I do what I have to do. Daily. Hourly. Have I said I'll drink 2 L of water before noon? Then I do. Bottom line is that I've learned to keep my word to myself regarding my intake. I can't fool myself, I can't cheat myself. I do what I have to do.

So where are you now? Where do you want to be in 1 years time?

First, say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Monday, May 23, 2011 9:32 AM by kb1968 | 1 Comments [Edit Post]

Superhuman? No.

Sometimes I'll get the question of how in the world can you stay 100% on plan consistently? Is there some superhuman gene that some people have and some people don't which allows them to comply with the program day in and day out?

Nope.

You would think, after 9 months of Medifast, the voices of self-sabotage would be silent. They aren't. But I'll tell you what I do, what my secret is, in dealing with those voices. Because they DO come, and I DO deal with them. And the resulting behavior is staying ON PLAN.

What is my secret?

Here goes: I tell them "No."

Simple, yes. Easy? NO! But doable.

Here's how it plays out every morning in my kitchen. EVERY MORNING mind you, without FAIL! (If a day happens to come along and I don't have this happen, I figure my self-sabateur was sleeping in....but she's always awake the next morning...)

Get out my 5 oz coffee mug from the cupboard, measure out 30 g 1/2 and 1/2 on my food scale. As I'm measuring I hear:

Subconscious me: "Oh it's ok if it goes a little over, no biggie, you can make up for it later in your healthy fat selection."

Conscious me: "No."

Pop the mug in the microwave for 10 sec to take the chill off the Half and Half, put a packet of Splenda in and fill it to the brim with delicious piping hot premium freshly ground French Roast from the San Francisco Bay Coffee Company.

Take that first sip. Ahhhhh. Bliss. Take a second sip. Ahhhh, double bliss.

When my first cup is finished, here's what happens:

Subconscious me: "Just one more. Just put 15 g 1/2 and 1/2 in it, you'll be a little over in condiments but that is OK! Or better yet, ditch all your dressing for the afternoon salad and be gratified NOW."

Conscious me: "No."

At this point, I have spoken a very conscious "No" to my subconscious self-sabateur TWICE, and it is still before 8:00 am!

She pipes down throughout the day because I've already told her no twice. And it never seems to get easier to say no to her those first two times. And it is always with my coffee.

But here's the thing. It sets a pattern up for the rest of the day of compliance and delaying the instant gratification of having what I want WHEN I want as regards food.

Now I can attest to all of you, without shame, that this is a real and tempting dialog that happens every morning in my head. I can also attest to all of you that once I did it (said "no") for 21 days it became a habit. Here's the thing, though, even though it IS a habit, the dialog STILL exists. Daily.

And it is difficult but doable to continue to say "no" to that inner-brat.

If, however, one day I succumb and say "yes", then it becomes TWICE as hard the next day, and infact for the rest of THAT day to say "no". It becomes downright painful.

I am such a whimp for pain. I don't want it. I avoid it. I don't like it. So I choose to get those first two "no's" out of the way first thing. And I WON'T say yes because I do not want to invite pain and suffering and mental angst in having to re-establish a broken habit. No thank you!

If you've gotten to the end of this, you may have found something you could relate to. I hope you have!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Sunday, May 22, 2011 11:10 AM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

Felt Like I Lived in Provincial France Yesterday

Yesterday my son and I walked to school. Then I rode my bicycle to Sprouts, bought fresh produce for the day, and rode home and prepared a very delicious sauteed mushroom dish for my Lean and Green. I felt very European. Who needs a car when I have a bicycle?

The other day I rode there just to buy fresh flowers to brighten my table. These are good days indeed.

Thank you, Medifast!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, May 20, 2011 12:16 PM by kb1968 | 5 Comments [Edit Post]

Happiest Day of My Life!

Was actually today! Today was the happiest day of my life so far, and I anticipate it will only get better.

Today I was counting my blessings as I was riding my bicycle to my son's school. I saw him playing on the playground, in his little Tilley Hat (not actually little, the boy has a bigger head than his momma, and he's only 6!), running around with a little football.

He was running circles around the very pregnant Kindergarten aide, and I could just imagine what their dialog was as I'm sure he was saying hello to the baby in her belly! She was laughing so it must have gone something like that!

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, I am 80+ pounds down and I was comfortably riding a bicycle watching my survivor son just be a kid in the sunshine.

I just about cried.

I was also listening to my IPOD and Pink's song "Perfect" was playing. I realized I can really identify with those lyrics. Here they are:

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss knowing it's all good, it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Luck, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me

Anyway, such are the ramblings of a West Coaster at 10pm when everyone else in the MediBlog world is asleep. Don't know how many will read this, being so late, but I was counting my blessings today and they were many. I challenge you to do the same. I think you'll be surprised!

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Friday, May 20, 2011 12:38 AM by kb1968 | 10 Comments [Edit Post]

Hanging Out with Kurt Warner!

Dancing With the Stars, Retired Pro Quarterback in the NFL (Cardinals, Rams), yes, THE KURT WARNER!

I am so excited.

On June 4th we are having a reunion for all the families who have attended the Warner's "First Things First Foundation" annual co-sponsored (with Make-a-Wish) trip to Disneyworld. My family had the privilege and pleasure of going with the Warner family (they have 7 kids, one who is developmentally disabled) and 8 other families from the Phoenix and St Louis area to Disneyworld for a week back in July of 2009.

It was a great trip for us, and especially for our son who had a kidney transplant in 08 and is doing GREAT! He was 4 at the time we went, and all he remembers is that he had a great time and that Kurt and his beautiful wife Brenda are so nice! He also watched Kurt in the next (and his last) season with the Cardinals before he retired, not to mention the fun season with Dancing With the Stars last year!

Why is this significant to me? Well, two reasons. Firstly, it is Brenda Warner whom I got to know on that trip, and who I call my friend (I also call Kurt my friend but probably wouldn't call him up to go get a cup of coffee!), who had the motto I keep on my discussion board signature. The motto of "It is never too late to become who we 'might have' been".

She and I had some good talks about self-esteem, fitness, goals, and ultimately, becoming the best version of ourselves possible. For God's glory and for our and our family's benefit.

It was she who inspired me, who began to set the groundwork once again which helped to bring me out of my Post Traumatic Stress and ultimately, the following summer, to restart Medifast and put myself on a path to optimal health.

So I am thrilled to be able to spend an afternoon/evening with Kurt and Brenda and their clan here in the Phoenix area on June 4th! And she will rejoice with me that I am down just about 90 pounds from when we all went to Disneyworld.

That trip was pretty momentous for me, a real turning point in many ways. Firstly, it was her loving kindness, her input, her taking the time to really SEE me, which helped me realize that I deserve to be SEEN, and not just move through this world as a semi-invisible entity.

Secondly, on that trip I needed a seat belt extender mid-flight on the way home.

Who needs a seat belt extender MID-FLIGHT?

I had begun the trip a week earlier NOT needing the extender, and in fact even squeezed into my seat belt on take-off on the way home. Somewhere on that 4-hour flight I had expanded, that little straw that breaks the camel's back, and when I came back from using the restroom I could not for the life of me snap my seat-belt back together.

Imagine the flight attendant's confusion when I asked for an extender 2 hours into the flight. She was gracious enough not to ask questions, and I took my extender from her in my shame.

It struck me on that trip that I was expanding....hourly.

Here I thought since I had reached my previous high I would somehow plateau out and remain at 268, eating whatever I wanted. Not the case. I was actually expanding by the hour. It struck me once again the other saying I have which is "You could always be bigger".

It is true. I could have easily gone on and gained just 32 more pounds in the next year, topping out at 300 before I came to my senses. For a shortie short shortie of 5 foot 3, I probably would have been dead by then.

But I began to emerge from my Post Traumatic Stress, and maintained my weight for about a year until I was ready to embark on THE journey to change my life and my health.

I am now 84 pounds down, and by the time I see Brenda in 2 weeks I'll be 90 pounds down.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

The moral if the story is that we are all valuable in God's eyes, we should never think that we are not. We should all be striving to be the best versions of ourselves possible, and to live up to our God-given potential, and that if we relax and stop being vigilant about our intake, we can always be bigger. And bigger. And bigger.

So lets remember that all it takes is one day at a time. One 24-hour period at a time. That's all we need to worry about.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Thursday, May 19, 2011 10:19 AM by kb1968 | 3 Comments [Edit Post]

The Weight of the Journey. The Wait of the Journey.

Ever get discouraged about the sheer amount of TIME it is going to take to get to your goal?

I used to. Then I realized a few things. Firstly, the time will pass anyway, whether I am doing the program or not. In one year I will be one year older, with one year's more worth of wrinkles on my face and a one-year older body.

My son will be one year older, he'll be 7, and I have two choices as I see it. I can be that active fit Mom who has boundless energy and can run in the park with her child....

or....

I can still be obese, WISHING I was that active fit Mom who has boundless energy and can run in the park with her child.

How many of us say "If I had started Medifast when KB started Medifast, I'd be down over 80 pounds by now". Ok, ok, you don't have to insert MY name in there, but you know what I mean. We look at these amazing before and after pictures of amazing people and we say "If only....."

Well, my "if only" is TODAY. The only "if only" I need to consider is whether my next meal will be a Dutch Chocolate 55 Shake, or a package of Cinnamon Pretzels.

When I line up enough of those kinds of choices, time will pass, and one day I will wake up and I will be the one posting "GOALLLLLLL!!!!!!" on my blog.

And others will see it, and say "I wish I had started Medifast 17 months ago....whoah! SEVENTEEN MONTHS?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I can't do ANYTHING for seventeen months!!! I'm SO discouraged! I may as well quit now....."

Ok, you see how those kinds of projections go? It's called a major BUZZ-KILL!

But the good news is that you only have to worry about today. You don't have to carry the entire weight of the entire journey on your shoulders in this instant. It was never meant to be that way. We are only to worry about TODAY. And today I can do anything, because I can do ANYTHING for 24 hours.

So I will wait patiently, in this, my journey. I will worry about my next meal, and getting in all my water on time and on schedule. Because today is all I have to worry about.

And today is all YOU have to worry about!

And I do plan on reaching goal in about 7 months, but I'm not discouraged about it because TODAY is all I'm thinking about.

Happy Medifasting! Rinse and Repeat!

Posted Wednesday, May 18, 2011 11:21 AM by kb1968 | 8 Comments [Edit Post]

Spoke to My Mentor

And she told me to weigh once a week. Sigh. She is right. I am an all-or-nothing person, and she pointed out to me that the solution to the problem of weighing daily is NOT necessarily to put the scale away forever.

You see, my pendulum sometimes swings from one extreme to the other, which is part of what I am working on during this process of transformation both inside and out.

I will weigh once a week. Not daily, not never.

I think I respond well to words of wisdom, don't you? Heh heh.

The great thing about the support system that I have around me, both with my mentor and with staying active on the boards/blogs, is the variety of ideas that we get to experience. Iron sharpens iron, and not ONE of us can do this alone.

So, lesson learned, I will weigh once a week. Not every day, and not never. Part of the habits of health I am learning IS to monitor my weight weekly so I may as well start now.

I will say though I have learned quite a bit by not weighing this last week, I learned that I CAN survive the day NOT stepping on the scale. I learned that I can go about my business, the business of staying On Plan, without wondering if I'll be up a tenth because I had this meal or that meal, and just stop psychoanalyzing my body on a daily or hourly basis which is, in a word, MADDENING, let alone a huge distraction from the things I should be accomplishing during my day.

Bottom line is this works. And I am working it. And the scale does not contribute to my success but is only a measure of it over the long term.

Whew! What a relief!

Posted Tuesday, May 17, 2011 11:59 AM by kb1968 | 6 Comments [Edit Post]

goalbysummer

July 16th - August 7th, 2011

August 2nd-22nd, 2011

"If all of your thinking in your life has brought you to a place you don't like, think again. Have another thought. Think BRILLIANTLY." - Graham Cooke

August 22, 2011- Sept 8th 2011

sus·tain·a·ble

liv·ing

Recent Blogs...September 8- Sept 19 2011

Welcome to Someday!

ONE COTTON-PICKIN DAY AT A TIME!

June 28th - July 6th, 2011

June 1 - June 21, 2011

"If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all." - Michelangelo

May 16th 2011 - May 25th 2011